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Ponderings - Tactical Ninja

Mar. 19th, 2014

10:53 am - Ponderings

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My doctor's visit went.. well, it went in 15 minutes. He told me I have tennis elbow and that I should rest it and not do anything that aggravates it for at least 2 months, and referred me for an x-ray for my back.

I think muscular-skeletal things are hard for doctors, and that if I want a real diagnosis I'll have to do the x-ray and then go see someone who specialises. He gave me the name of a physiotherapist who is apparently quite good. I also know an osteopath who's successfully treated me for other broken parts in the past. The reason I went to the doctor was to rule out conditions that can be treated by conventional means (or not treated, like arthritis which is in my family).

I don't know why I feel like I didn't get my money's worth. He seemed quite offhand, and with my elbow when I told him about the pain that was in the upper arm he said "Oh we won't worry about that." Which may be because the treatment for that is the same as for what he said I have, but felt quite a lot like a dismissal.

Anyway..


That koru lounge thing I mentioned yesterday? Ended up having the response I expected but hoped wouldn't happen, in that several people commented giving reasons why they use it. I expected it because this happens every time I talk about how I feel about it. I'm very aware, as mentioned yesterday, that few people share my feelings. I'm mostly aware of this because people keep telling me they don't share my feelings, and often giving lists of reasons why they don't share my feelings.

This is all fine. For a start, I'm not passing judgement on what anyone else does when I talk about what I do. I don't expect people to share my feelings on this, and I'm not trying to change anyone's opinion or behaviour. It's just a thing I do, based on a feeling I have. Call it a Tats principle.

As an aside I do wonder, though, why I get this response to this particular eccentricity and not, say, my not drinking.

Saying "I don't drink" doesn't elicit comments from people telling me why they do.

There are lots of reasons I don't drink* - I don't like the taste, I don't like who I am when I'm drunk, I don't like many of the ways it changes other people when they're drunk.. etc etc blah blah yadda yadda. For other people, there are probably lots of reasons why they do. But people don't seem to feel the need to justify their drinking when I say that I don't.

Anyway, so I have this principle that I adhere to, based on my own experiences, personality and values. And other people have different principles, and some people may have a principle similar to mine but value pragmatism more highly.

And that's fine.

I often run up against this principle vs pragmatism thing. Ideally, one can operate practically within one's principles all the time. But in reality, there are often occasions when people have to choose between what's practical and what's in line with their principles. Another example might be the principle of radical inclusion at Kiwiburn vs the practicality of excluding people who make the experience unsafe for others.

The thing about these sorts of questions is that I have a tendency to stubbornly come down on the side of principle, even when it would be more sensible to approach the question pragmatically. I am aware of this tendency, and I'm aware that my view is often in the minority regarding how much hassle and/or difficulty is acceptable in support of a principle.

And that's fine.

What would not be fine is if I attempted to impose my principle on other people, or passed judgement on other people for not having the same set of values that I do. Because that's what it comes down to - I tend to value principle over pragmatism where possible, and not everyone feels that way.

And that's fine.

I know I'm repeating myself, but it actually bothers me quite a lot that people seem to feel the need to justify their actions when I talk about a principle I have. Because there's an implicit assumption of judgement in there, and I'm not judging. I choose not to use the koru lounge because I feel weird about paying for special treatment. It's not a big deal for me to make this choice, I am not suffering for my principle in any way, and I'm not expecting anyone else to make the same choice or suffer for my principle, especially if they don't share it.

So if you felt judged by my words about my choices yesterday, I apologise.

On the flipside of that, there's also no need to try and change my mind on this, because it affects nobody but me, and I admit to feeling somewhat frustrated by the way this one thing seems to trigger this justification response in people. I don't know why it strikes this nerve. I wish it didn't - I don't want to make my friends defensive, and also? I do already know about the showers, the convenience, the workstations, the food and drink. These are the pragmatic things that are valued more highly by other people in this context than they are by me.

And that's fine.

* I should mention here that while at KB I found a cider I can stomach and got a bit squiffy on it, but apparently not so much that people noticed. I'm just not all that good at this drinking bizzo, and I often forget that now there's something I can drink.


Last night we did Flying Koalas. They don't actually look like this:



Although the caption seems appropriate somehow. *cough* Mostly they seem to involve falling on the mat in a heap. However, after about 20 goes we did one successfully, and then stopped because tiring koala-imitating is tiring.

And I'm not that cute either.

Comments:

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From:m_danson
Date:March 18th, 2014 10:58 pm (UTC)
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I finally got caught up on reading you (awesome stuff) but i'm confused, what is a koru lounge?
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From:tatjna
Date:March 18th, 2014 11:03 pm (UTC)
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I don't know if there's a proper term for it, but it's a lounge set up by Air New Zealand to provide 'gold' services to their clients.

Basically you pay X amount of dollars for membership and you're allowed into this restricted area that has comfy seats and food and drink available 'free', showers, ports for charging devices and the like. You also get extra baggage allowances and priority boarding on planes.
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From:morbid_curious
Date:March 19th, 2014 05:14 am (UTC)
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I'd refer to them generally as "premium membership lounges", myself. For a Canadian example:

https://www.aircanada.com/en/travelinfo/airport/maplelounges/

Sometimes they're referred to primarily as a "club" of some sort: Admiral Club, Delta Sky Club, United Airlines Club, Qantas Club, etc.. Air New Zealand used to call it "Koru Club", but that seems to have fallen out of popularity in recent branding:

http://www.airnewzealand.co.nz/koru

(But still there in the email address.)
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From:siobhan63
Date:March 18th, 2014 11:08 pm (UTC)
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I highly recommend going to see a physiotherapist. My two bouts of tennis elbow convinced me of the benefits of physiotherapy. I just need to make myself do the exercises and stretches more regularly to keep it from coming back.
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From:tatjna
Date:March 18th, 2014 11:10 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I'm very much into the idea of strengthening the surrounding bits and pieces to help prevent it happening again. At the moment I'm tossing up between the osteopath who's fixed me before, and the physio that the doctor recommended.
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From:bekitty
Date:March 18th, 2014 11:55 pm (UTC)
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Funny. Whenever I mention ot people that I don't drink, I get called a "wowser". Or I get told that I'm "weird". The inevitable next question is "well why are you in a bar then?" (I'm always there for karaoke.)

Regarding the Koru lounge: "Money hath its privileges". And if you don't have the money, you're apparently not welcome among the privileged. I've never had the money for the Koru lounge, and even if I had, I can always think of better things to spend it on.
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From:tatjna
Date:March 18th, 2014 11:58 pm (UTC)
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I once had someone tell me that I don't drink because my husband beats me when he's drunk. This was from a drunk woman.

I actually do think that the drunkenness that I witnessed in that other life back there has affected my ability to handle being around drunk people now, but it's not why I don't drink. Also, my current social group doesn't drink anywhere near as much as those people did.

And it was back then that people got in my face about it. Nowadays people just go "Oh ok." I'm sorry you still get silliness. Maybe it's to do with it being a pub (I hardly ever go to pubs nowadays)?
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From:bekitty
Date:March 19th, 2014 12:08 am (UTC)
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It depends on where I am. I get called a wowser when I'm on the internet, and weird by people who don't know me. Well, okay, sometimes i get called weird by people who DO know me, but it's usually for a different reason. :)

I had the feeling that one of the main reasons that you don't drink had to do with being a supertaster, which is why the taste of alcohol in drinks really doesn't appeal.

I tend to get more people getting all weird about me liking dealcoholised drinks. Like, I actually like some de-alcoholised lagers, and whenever I bring this up with craft beer aficinados, they always look at me funny and ask "what's the point?" Like THEY only drink beer to get drunk? Really? Not for the taste, or the techniques involved, or the sociability? Just the alcohol content? I find that hard to believe.

Edited at 2014-03-19 12:08 am (UTC)
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From:tatjna
Date:March 19th, 2014 12:13 am (UTC)
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I expect that alcohol's use as a social lubricant has a fair bit to do with the culture around craft beers and the like. You don't really see craft orange juice cultures in the same way. I totally get that, it's just not my thing.

And yes, I'd be a lot more interested in alcohol if I actually enjoyed the taste. ;-)
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From:bekitty
Date:March 19th, 2014 01:23 am (UTC)
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There needs to be a craft fruit drink movement. With food matching and everything! I would totally be down for that.
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From:dragonvyxn
Date:March 19th, 2014 12:12 am (UTC)
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i have a lovely osteopath who is totally kickass and took me out of pain after my car accident back in 2010. i cried when i got out of pain. then i have another one who regularly puts my elbows back where they ought to be... they're getting pulled out of place by dogs mainly, but also by hauling around babies and heavy things... hopefully you'll get your pain problem sorted and things will be able to resume as normal!

i dislike short doc visits, i rarely feel it's worth it, as you'll spend more time getting there and back and waiting for the doc than seeing the doc!! this was especially true when i was seeing the obgyn for pregnancy check ups. mine was hour total of travel time, and often waiting for 20-30 min, to see doc for 10-15 min. my insurance was also very fucked up about it and didn't pay out much so i got totally screwed. soooo, yeah, i definitely feel like i wasted loads and loads of $.

the midwife checks the same things, and costs less overall, and spends 60-90 minutes with you each visit! so i'm happy i only saw him until 26wks. the only useful thing the doc did was in the first time i saw him - confirming pregnancy with vaginal ultrasound and checking out the heartbeat at 8wks. everything else was stuff a midwife could have done. next time, i'm opting out of obgyn care.
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From:tatjna
Date:March 19th, 2014 12:30 am (UTC)
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Pregnancy and childbirth care is free in NZ, so there isn't quite the same pressure to get value for money in that area. Thinking back all those many years, I recall having one or two doctor visits and one having to be there at the birth to count fingers and toes, but other than that it was mostly dealt with by nurses and specialists (like for ultrasound).
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From:dragonvyxn
Date:March 19th, 2014 05:37 pm (UTC)
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damn, it would be so cool to have reasonable health care in this stupid country. siiiigh.
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From:meathiel
Date:March 19th, 2014 06:33 am (UTC)
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Ah ... I thought it might be tennis elbow (Didn't know it was the same name in English than it is in German, though). That's what I had a few years ago and it hurts like hell ...
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From:goddessofchaos
Date:March 19th, 2014 09:37 am (UTC)
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I think doctors will usually just refer you on for back problems. There are so many different potential answers. When you think about it, being a general practice doctor must be one hell of a tough job, since there's such an infinite variety of things that can go wrong with the human body.

I always find that if I tell people I don't really drink outside of a pub setting, they are quite understanding and don't make a big deal of it. If I say it when I'm actually in the pub, they think I'm being ridiculous and put alcohol in front of me. *sigh*
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From:t_c_da
Date:March 19th, 2014 07:56 pm (UTC)
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One good thing about the recent social backlash to drink driving is the the statement "I'm the designated driver" removes all pressure to have a drink. Some hotels around here a while back actually offered T-shirts (for the night) to designated drivers and plied them with free soft drinks.

I don't know whether this still goes on as I haven't darkened the door of a pub in 30 years,,,
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From:pundigrion
Date:March 19th, 2014 04:18 pm (UTC)
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Heh, I think I must get all the over-explainy drinkers for you. At least they are better than the ones who actively get mad at me for not drinking, but still, awkward! I kind of want to pull the patronizing syrupy sweet smile and say, "That's nice honey."
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From:adam_0oo
Date:March 21st, 2014 08:08 pm (UTC)
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I have often thought that one of the hardest things about not drinking is forever talking about why you are not drinking.
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