tatjna (tatjna) wrote,


My doctor's visit went.. well, it went in 15 minutes. He told me I have tennis elbow and that I should rest it and not do anything that aggravates it for at least 2 months, and referred me for an x-ray for my back.

I think muscular-skeletal things are hard for doctors, and that if I want a real diagnosis I'll have to do the x-ray and then go see someone who specialises. He gave me the name of a physiotherapist who is apparently quite good. I also know an osteopath who's successfully treated me for other broken parts in the past. The reason I went to the doctor was to rule out conditions that can be treated by conventional means (or not treated, like arthritis which is in my family).

I don't know why I feel like I didn't get my money's worth. He seemed quite offhand, and with my elbow when I told him about the pain that was in the upper arm he said "Oh we won't worry about that." Which may be because the treatment for that is the same as for what he said I have, but felt quite a lot like a dismissal.


That koru lounge thing I mentioned yesterday? Ended up having the response I expected but hoped wouldn't happen, in that several people commented giving reasons why they use it. I expected it because this happens every time I talk about how I feel about it. I'm very aware, as mentioned yesterday, that few people share my feelings. I'm mostly aware of this because people keep telling me they don't share my feelings, and often giving lists of reasons why they don't share my feelings.

This is all fine. For a start, I'm not passing judgement on what anyone else does when I talk about what I do. I don't expect people to share my feelings on this, and I'm not trying to change anyone's opinion or behaviour. It's just a thing I do, based on a feeling I have. Call it a Tats principle.

As an aside I do wonder, though, why I get this response to this particular eccentricity and not, say, my not drinking.

Saying "I don't drink" doesn't elicit comments from people telling me why they do.

There are lots of reasons I don't drink* - I don't like the taste, I don't like who I am when I'm drunk, I don't like many of the ways it changes other people when they're drunk.. etc etc blah blah yadda yadda. For other people, there are probably lots of reasons why they do. But people don't seem to feel the need to justify their drinking when I say that I don't.

Anyway, so I have this principle that I adhere to, based on my own experiences, personality and values. And other people have different principles, and some people may have a principle similar to mine but value pragmatism more highly.

And that's fine.

I often run up against this principle vs pragmatism thing. Ideally, one can operate practically within one's principles all the time. But in reality, there are often occasions when people have to choose between what's practical and what's in line with their principles. Another example might be the principle of radical inclusion at Kiwiburn vs the practicality of excluding people who make the experience unsafe for others.

The thing about these sorts of questions is that I have a tendency to stubbornly come down on the side of principle, even when it would be more sensible to approach the question pragmatically. I am aware of this tendency, and I'm aware that my view is often in the minority regarding how much hassle and/or difficulty is acceptable in support of a principle.

And that's fine.

What would not be fine is if I attempted to impose my principle on other people, or passed judgement on other people for not having the same set of values that I do. Because that's what it comes down to - I tend to value principle over pragmatism where possible, and not everyone feels that way.

And that's fine.

I know I'm repeating myself, but it actually bothers me quite a lot that people seem to feel the need to justify their actions when I talk about a principle I have. Because there's an implicit assumption of judgement in there, and I'm not judging. I choose not to use the koru lounge because I feel weird about paying for special treatment. It's not a big deal for me to make this choice, I am not suffering for my principle in any way, and I'm not expecting anyone else to make the same choice or suffer for my principle, especially if they don't share it.

So if you felt judged by my words about my choices yesterday, I apologise.

On the flipside of that, there's also no need to try and change my mind on this, because it affects nobody but me, and I admit to feeling somewhat frustrated by the way this one thing seems to trigger this justification response in people. I don't know why it strikes this nerve. I wish it didn't - I don't want to make my friends defensive, and also? I do already know about the showers, the convenience, the workstations, the food and drink. These are the pragmatic things that are valued more highly by other people in this context than they are by me.

And that's fine.

* I should mention here that while at KB I found a cider I can stomach and got a bit squiffy on it, but apparently not so much that people noticed. I'm just not all that good at this drinking bizzo, and I often forget that now there's something I can drink.

Last night we did Flying Koalas. They don't actually look like this:

Although the caption seems appropriate somehow. *cough* Mostly they seem to involve falling on the mat in a heap. However, after about 20 goes we did one successfully, and then stopped because tiring koala-imitating is tiring.

And I'm not that cute either.
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