Late off the mark - Tactical Ninja
Dec. 9th, 2013
10:16 am - Late off the mark
Yesterday I was supposed to post for ghost_light, but I am crap at posting on the weekend because I always have so many other things to do - so this post goes out on the US 8th instead of the NZ one. And the one for today will be tomorrow. Sorry about that.
Chocolate. One of the world's most ubiquitous psychoactive drugs, beloved of romantics and folks who can't think of a suitable Mother's Day gift the world over.
I can't remember when I first became aware of chocolate, and I bet if you try you probably can't either. It's just there. I do remember that my brother liked it so I automatically decided I didn't. Anyone else here who's the younger of siblings who are close together in age might recognise this.. he got first lash at everything. School, reading, clothes - it seemed that whatever was available to experience in this world, he got to do/try/have first, and I realised at an early age that I was destined to live in a world of hand-me-downs.
Naturally, I rebelled against this in the only way I knew how - he might get to go first, but I didn't have to follow. Thus, when he decided chocolate was awesome, I had to come up with something different. I needed to assert my agency, you see.
I did it by liking sugary sweets instead of chocolate. Take that, hegemony!
Five year old Tats was pretty political, apparently.
Anyway, I was able to maintain this until I wasn't. Or, until I realised that I could still be an individual without sacrificing my access to mind-altering substances. It was one of those, anyway. I became particularly partial to jaffas. These are something that folks overseas often don't know about, which is a crying shame to be honest.
What they are is a ball of dark chocolate, with an orange* flavoured candy coating. They are hard and round and beloved of folks who like dropping them in movie theatres and listening to them roll all the way to the front. You'll note that movie theatres are carpeted these days. Funny that.
I still love me some jaffa goodness, but I admit that I should probably avoid them because I can't.stop. when eating them. I never have jaffas for long.
NZ has its own brand of chocolate. Well, it probably has several actually, but the one I'm talking about is Whittakers, which is based in Porirua. I used to work about 5 minutes' walk from their factory, and when the wind was right I spent the entire day enveloped in a miasma of melted chocolate. It was awesome and torturous at the same time.
But now, Whittakers have outdone themselves with this stuff:
This is cashing in on kiwiana in a big way. L&P stands for Lemon and Paeroa, a type of lemonade drink with a very distinctive flavour that is made in the town of Paeroa, which has a mineral spring of some repute. L&P has been around since forever in NZ more or less, and it was one of their advertising campaigns that coined the phrase "World famous in New Zealand" which is now part of our national lexicon.
So what Whittakers have done is try to recreate L&P as a chocolate flavour. They've taken white chocolate (NOM), added L&P flavouring (NOM) and then added pop rocks to give it some fizz (NOM).
NOM NOM NOM
I cannot have this stuff in the house. I would eat it all in one go, no matter how big the bar.
Chocolate has come a long way since I was a kid. My lack of self control around it hasn't changed, but now there are exponentially more flavours to try.
What's your local flavour?
* Only by a stretch of the imagination. They deliberately don't taste like real oranges even though the flavouring's improved over the years, in order to preserve the taste we all know and love.