DoomBoy has disappeared. Not entirely, like, someone else at the gym… - Tactical Ninja
Aug. 14th, 2013
DoomBoy has disappeared. Not entirely, like, someone else at the gym told me he's in the US, but to all intents and purposes he just sort of went off without saying anything.
I'm torn between being annoyed that he didn't contact me to let me know he was going, concerned about his wellbeing, and asking myself if I was so annoying that he didn't want to tell me in case I became more annoying about it. Yes I know this last one is ridiculous but hey, welcome to the inside of my head. I'm that self-centred that if there's a way to make it about me, I'll find it. Sometimes this is a recipe for ridiculousness and self-blame and probably the result of some screaming insecurity on my part.
Anyway, I've stopped paying him. He hasn't responded to my breezy "So that's why you weren't giving me arseholes for skipping last week" email, and I've no idea if this is just a holiday or something permanent. It's a shame, he was doing a good job, and this is unprofessional as hell. I hold out hope that it's some kind of emergency and the mystery will be cleared up, but meanwhile I'm without a trainer.
I haven't been back to train since being sick - well, that's not true, I turned up for training on Monday which is how I found out about DoomBoy's jaunt to the US, but that was mostly to show willing rather than through any real desire to train. Today is actually the first day that I feel as if it wouldn't be futile anyway. I might manage a bit of something, but I'm floppy as hell and still a bit gaspy after doing the 5 floors to my office, so I'm afraid of how much ground I've lost and have no clue about how to ease into things gently.
Part of me wants to flag it altogether, save my money on membership and take up knitting. I know this will pass - I like being fit and strong - but apart from the part where I was sick, I have found I have much more energy when I'm not training hard all the time. And more energy = doing more things that I enjoy just as much as I enjoy being fit and strong.
Yes I really am having a dilemma about whether I want to continue being as fit and strong as I currently am. What the fucking fuck?
On another note, here are some pics of someone I've been chatting with on Twitter, who's made a costume similar to the one I'm making. The differences are obvious - this one doesn't have armour - but the basic idea is the same. Oh, also, my boots don't have heels because I'm plenty tall enough already and have no desire to break my ankles, be it whacking hurlocks or traipsing around parks taking photos, you know? Anyway, she's done a fantastic job and I am inspired by her result.
And I have also realised that to be authentic to my costume's canon, I really should make The Hawke's Key, which is the weapon that goes with the Regalia of Weisshaupt (in that you only get the Regalia if you play Legacy and you can't play Legacy without ending up with the Key). Now, the Hawke's Key staff is ugly:
I have no doubt I could make it, but it's.. hideous and also it wouldn't stand transport well without some serious reinforcing. However, this armour set is exactly the same for mages or rogues, and it occurred to me that I could be a rogue and use the dagger version of The Hawke's Key. Unfortunately, that's also hideous:
However, it would take less time and effort and would travel better. I'd have to make it a pal because rogues have to have two or UR DOIN IT RONG, but I'd make sure mine was a bit better matched than that one in the picture. I'd probably do something like Finesse:
For maximum ridiculousness. Because the whole idea of dressing up as a videogame character and running around pretending to be them is innately ridiculous, so I may as well milk it for all it's worth, right?
I might just go for a walk up Mt Vic at lunchtime since the weather's nice, and see if my lungs handle that. Blergh.