tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

International Qualifications Developer of Mystery

Last night I dreamed that I helped Rihanna to leave Chris Brown, by giving her a cardboard sculpture of a goat's head with twisty horns, that imbued her with strength in times of low self-esteem.

I dont follow the lives of celebrities because a) I don't really care (monkeysphere, yo) and b) I'd hate it if folks on the other side of the world were commenting publicly on my life choices all the time. But some things creep through and the Rihanna/Chris Brown thing is one of them. From what I can tell, he's beaten her twice and she's left him twice, and now they are back together and it's some kind of standing public joke.

It's hard enough for a victim to leave an abusive relationship as it is. Every time they go back they are giving up a little bit of their self-esteem, balanced with the hope that this time it'll be different. When it isn't, the self-esteem takes another dive as they question their own judgement, all the time being reinforced by the abuser who tells them they deserve it. In Rihanna's case, she also gets to witness the media making a joke of her abuse:

So according to Seth McFarlane, domestic violence is a joke and Rihanna's the butt of it, and all this is perfectly acceptable as 'entertainment'. And we all laugh along, maybe a little uncomfortably, but I see he still has his job - and I guess that means that ultimately we're all ok with that kind of 'humour'. I'm sure this is doing her self-esteem the world of good. Meanwhile I'm sure Chris Brown really knows how abnormally bad it is to punch people you claim to love, who also happen to be smaller and weaker than yourself. You can tell by the way.. oh wait, he still has his job too. And some awards. WTF?

I can't imagine how it feels to have your abuse joked about internationally. For me, making sure nobody knew what was going on was part of trying to retain my sanity - as long as people didn't know, I could still feel as if I had some dignity and control over the situation. Arse-backwards thinking, but that's what happens when folks you are supposed to be able to trust turn out to be untrustworthy, when a relationship is a power game, and when love = pain and humiliation. The whole world is arse-backwards when you're a victim of abuse. Having people know I'd been stupid enough to get into that situation was the worst possible outcome.

So congratulations, world, you are a contributor to the likelihood that this woman will continue to be abused, by making it that bit harder for her to feel good enough about herself to know she can leave and be ok.

I'm not sure sending her a goat's head would actually help any, either. ;-/

Someone sent me this yesterday - a 415kg bluefin tuna was caught off the East Coast on Tuesday. How big is 415kg? this big:

That's pretty bloody big. When I used to work on gameboats, the record was about 325kg for a Southern bluefin. This one's a Pacific bluefin (Southerns are critically endangered). While it makes me feel somewhat sad that something so long-lived has finally died, I also know that to get to that size it must have been breeding for many years, (roughly 10-20, or even 65 depending on who believe about tuna lifespan) and have passed on some pretty survival-y genes to its progeny. Therefore I am glad to know that tuna are still making it to this size.

There is the usual stuff being flailed around in the comments, this time it's conservationists vs fisherfolk, complete with sweeping grandiose statements, ignorance, insults and general point-scoring on both sides. Interesting reading if you're into that sort of thing. I should point out though, that there's a moratorium on the sale of billfish flesh in New Zealand, and that gamefishers are one of the biggest supporters of the tag-and-release programs that have allowed scientists to learn so much about the lives and habits of pelagic fish. Painting gamefishing as the culprit for depletion of fish stocks would be a mistake. Just saying.

Meanwhile, you know how shearing comes in pairs? Yep. Apparently the drought has done wonders for the fly population, especially in low lying areas. Consequently, there are some tough battles with flystrike going on out there, and that means I get called in to remove wool from sheep's bums and add fly repellent. It's not something I'd anticipated, but it does mean that my Saturday shearing work is now worth getting out of bed for, and that the YoT will get plenty of driving practice. ;-)

Friday shorts:

My new job title includes the world "Special Duties". This makes me feel like a spy. I deny everything, naturally.

Ever been stuck for what movie to watch? This is cool - it recommends movies based on your preferences and learns from your ratings. It's also made by a friend of ours. You should try it.

Apparently there's a dance party this weekend. I might even go.
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