An exploration of the correct form for tomboyish acrobatics - Tactical Ninja
Jan. 17th, 2013
10:22 am - An exploration of the correct form for tomboyish acrobatics
Dr Wheel is reading a book at the moment. He says it's about information, and eventually it'll get to maths - but right now it's somewhere in the 16th Century and when he snorted with laughter at it, I asked what was up. Apparently it was the original definition of 'tomboy:
"A girl or wench who jumps up and down like a boy".
Of course you know where this is going. I had to know..
I tried various forms of jumping up and down and asked Dr Wheel to judge how boyish he felt they looked. He seemed confused (and amused). Of course, I've no idea if I'm a 'girl or wench' either, but one can but try. Then alphamatrix showed up and she thought that maybe it meant jumping up and down with straight legs. So, as we are more and more wont to do in matters of such importance, I consulted google.
Holycheese agrees with alphamatrix.
I'm not convinced. After all, that's just a cartoon boy. I note that 16th Century Definition Dude didn't specify 'like a cartoon boy', nooooo...
The stock photo people agree with me.
Uh-oh, an impasse. By the way, have you seen this? Stocking is the new Planking, in which people recreate stock photos using items (and people) found around the house. *cough* I would never! Nope.
Anyway, it seems these grown-up boys also agree with me:
Bonus points here for recognising the skifield.
These people have no opinion on how boys jump up and down, but they'd like their boy to stop doing it, thanks. The comments are gold, in which the internets try to diagnose the kid's 'problem' and suggest everything from a gluten allergy to autism. Points for best comment go to "If it is something neurological going on the fats in the Primal diet do help quite a bit." Yes, we have us some paleofolk up in here. Or maybe "He didn't recently get a vaccination did he?" Because vaccinations are a widely known cause for everything, especially boys jumping up and down.
They even made a movie about it! Plot synopsis: "The story of 10 old college friends who re-unite in a time of need. The existential bond they forged in college was to be a constant reminder of all the joys that life could offer. But one friend, Kevin, forgets all knowledge of their union and drops into a deep depression. The only thing that can save him is love, craziness and a flying chicken." Unfortunately, it doesn't give details of how the jumping up and down is done, in fact it's not clear how the jumping up and down fits into the story at all, but from the cast list I estimate that at least two (maybe three) of the 'old college friends' are women (girls/wenches?). If I were to watch this movie, it may reveal all, including whether the wenches' jumping is actually like boys at all. The 5 people who've watched it gave it 8/10 stars. Do you think I should watch it? Do I need more redemption-through-love tropes in my life? You decide.
However, according to whoever made this video, jumping up and down involves keeping your legs straight.
It also involves shouting out that you believe in Jesus. The Hillsong Kids? Hmm.. it's catchy and happy but my jumping up and down is unlikely to include professions of religious fervour. Of course I do believe in Jesus - I have no doubt he existed. I believe he had a huge influence on society both then and later, what with his radical ideas and his charismatic leadership. But "I believe in Jesus" has come to mean belief that he's the son of a deity that I don't subscribe to, that he died for our sins and was resurrected then got lifted up to a heaven I also don't subscribe to, and that he's up there loving on us, caring individually about what we do, and making judgements about our deservingness based on our level of faith. Not for me thanks.
But I like the song, and it definitely demonstrates a lot of jumping up and down, only 5 seconds and three stick figures of which includes bent-legged jumping, which implies that the correct form for jumping up and down is with straight legs. BUT - it's really hard to tell if the jumpers are boys or wenches. Clearly this videomaker suffers from the same gender description issues as Charles Stross, who would probably say that tomboys don't exist because wenches aren't strong enough to jump up and down at all, never mind like boys. *cough*
So much for the internet. I am no clearer now than I was before on how I should jump up and down if I want to be a tomboy. Or indeed whether I even qualify as a wench. I guess this one is just going to remain one of life's great mysteries, along with where all the other socks go and how pelicans can even fly. Although, I find myself wondering if Dr Wheel's wondrous book will have a 16th Century answer to that too. Hmm..
Tonight I'm finally going to get to do those lambs and that show grooming job. There's a possibility that I may end up having to wash a sheep's arse. Naturally there will be photos.
Meanwhile, my head is 57cm around, which makes it medium sized. I am putting this here for future reference. Also, I had a question for you all but I can't remember now what it was, so how about you just imagine that I asked you a question and give me your answer as if I did? That could work.