tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

Moderation? When did I turn into a grownup?

Today is my last session with Osteodude. It feels kind of weird, I've been seeing him since back in May - first for the OOS and then for my bung shoulder. But he reckons he's done all he can for it. It's not fully healed but what the work we've been doing has highlighted is the difference in strength and flexibility between that one and the other. There's an old injury in there that didn't come out till I started bearing all my weight on it, and the chances are it'll always be a bit dodgy.

To which I go "Fuck." I don't want to have a dodgy shoulder, especially not from an injury I can't remember doing. But it's obvious it's not right (this is hard for me to admit), and the best I can do is keep up the strength and flexibility exercises and hope that keeps it fairly sound. Right now I can military press 18kg off it (this is about an 8kg improvement from August), but 20kg and I drop the dumbell on my head. Trufax, I had to be rescued by DoomBoy who deflected it onto the floor and it went BANG and everyone looked and I went red but I'm glad it wasn't my skull it hit, eh? This is how he earns his keep when I'm doing strength exercises at the limit of my capability.

Meanwhile, the right side has no trouble with 20kg and could probably do way more. *sigh*

So my plan to lose 5kg has been ticking along nicely, having lost on average about a kg a week until I weigh 60kg - and then it stopped. I've weighed 60kg for the last two weeks despite doing the same things in the same way that previously led to weight-shedding. Also, this thing I use to record my efforts has a once-a-week measuring thing you do to ensure you're not losing muscle as well, and my measurements haven't changed.

At this point I could probably freak out and be all "What the hell am I doing wrong?" I did google around to see if this is normal, and apparently it happens a lot. The reasons for it are many and varied but the one that resonates for me is this - I reckon I might just have hit the weight that is right for me, and that my goal of shedding another 2kg may have been unrealistic.

Frankly, 58kg was my ideal weight when I was 30. Now, I'm 42, and I've been doing things this year that have led to an increase in muscle mass. These two things combined suggest that it's quite likely that my 'natural' weight is a couple of kilos heavier than it was 12 years ago, you know?

Combine this with the fact that I can see the difference in my body shape and am happy with it, that all my clothes still fit, and that what I'm eating is satisfying and healthy, and I reckon I'll take it. I've learned a fair bit about nutrition and how to get it in a healthy way, and for the most part I don't crave ice cream. I also seem to have struck a nice balance of exercise vs food intake for feeling energetic instead of tired and lean instead of hungry.

I'm going to continue logging my food and exercise for a while, just to see how it goes and make sure I am staying within the nutrition plan I set for myself, but I'm not attempting to lose any more weight. Funny thing, there seems to be a fairly wide set of parameters of food intake/exercise levels between which I won't gain or lose weight - but only when I'm sitting on 60kgs. Which is another reason I think it's just my natural weight.

It's kind of nice to learn that.

And for those who don't give a crap about that, have this:

From here: Horses with freakishly long manes. Thanks, danjite.
Tags: body stuff, check out mah restraintz, when nutrition attacks
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