tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

On why I've been less ranty lately

So I got my second essay back, did a few calculations, and it seems I have to get a total of 5% in Monday's exam in order to pass the course. However, I want to get an A, so I'm studying reintegrative shaming today, feminist criminology tomorrow, and Chicago school or right realism on Sunday. Combined with my fairly strong knowledge of the 7 theories I had to compare/contrast for the first essay, that should do it.

I can't wait. Only three days to go. I read this morning about one of my friends who's just finalised and printed her PhD - as in, no more PhD work for her, ever (congrats, btw!) and I can only imagine what that feels like. I'm only completing undergraduate study and it feels like I've climbed a mountain. For her, it must be more like coming back from the moon or something.

I've already been told unofficially that I'll be accepted into honours Criminology. One of my clients who's also a professor has told me there's s scholarship that I'd be a shoo-in for as well. I have the aptitude to do honours and then probably go straight on to PhD study without having to do Masters (being a mature student helps with this too). I have a number of topics I could do a thesis on in my field.

But right now, I don't want to know. I don't want to read any of the journals I subscribe to, I don't care what's happening in the world of drug policy, and the university is the last place I want to spend any time. I've had it up to the eyeballs with word counts and having to remember the names of theorists when it's actually what they said that counts. Arrogant professors can kiss my arse, and I'm about this far *holds fingers up* from telling them so. Luckily I don't have to interact with any of them any more, eh?

I don't know whether it's my attitude that's taken a nose dive after 5 years of non-stop study, or whether it's because this year I've encountered first a course that was interesting but treated students like they were secondary, followed by one in which the main lecturer is both arrogant and jaded, and delivered stuff in the least compatible format with my learning style. Either way, right now I can't think of anything worse than spending more time in the university environment.


Those of you who've been here a while might have noticed that my blog has contained significantly fewer political rants lately. Partly that's because after studying state crime I developed a bad case of Stop The World I Want To Get Off - every problem I look at is a wicked one, and studying them more closely only makes it more clear that the best contribution I can make probably won't solve them. It's kind of depressing.

Also, I stopped reading Twitter. I know that my Twitter feed is a reflection of what I've chosen to follow, but every time I read it, it makes me angry. Because it's filled with people tweeting about government fuckups and everything that's wrong with the world. Even the non-political tweets tend more towards negative observation than positive funny things, and so-called 'enlightened' tweets just seem so contrived.

Oh my ennui, let me show you it *makes tragic pose*

So I opted out, because for a while there it seemed that wherever I turned I was confronted with how everything is fucked, everybody sucks, and I don't really know why, but I want to justify ripping someone's head off.*

Consequently, my content has been more fluff and less heaviness for the sake of my own sanity. I think (hope) that once this exam is over and I've had a rest from the constant demand to be analysing hard stuff not just at work but in my free time as well, I might once again get interested in that stuff. I know I'm good at it, I'm just.. sick of it.

And it probably wouldn't hurt for me to narrow my focus back down to where I started from as well. I don't have to work on all the problems, right? Right?

So, um, someone remind me, what was I doing this for?

In other news, I won the battle of Mass Effect 3. Ha! And yes, I used filesharing to do it, just across our home network instead of the internet. To Origin's credit, it recognised that I already had the files and didn't try to inflict the Dreaded Auto-Download on me, simply installed them when I entered the product code. Now I've installed and am patching Baldur's Gate.** To do this, I need a good unzipper. Any recommended ones? Preferably free, and without that bullshit toolbar thing that every app and its dog wants to bundle these days.

Also, it's Friday. Today, we get a rivet. Any day with rivet in it is a good one. *SQUEE*

*Not really, but once I started that line I couldn't stop. Sorry for the cheese.
** This is part of the ongoing process in which I reinstall all my games (and some new ones) after the Great Harddrive Failure of 2012.
Tags: jaded as fuck, oh mah ennui, skool, where my rants at?
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