But I have to be realistic - there's something wrong or it wouldn't hurt. It's annoying that it doesn't hurt when I'm actually doing stuff so I can't tell what stuff to avoid. This means that avoiding everything is the most sensible approach and fuck that for a game of soldiers.
As you can see, there's a somewhat pronounced bump on the end of the collarbone of my left shoulder. It's probably a bit more pronounced than usual, but it's always a bit bigger than the other. Since this photo was taken MySpace styles, I figured I should work out the timer on my phone and take a proper one with arms at sides:
In this one, it's even more pronounced, and one shoulder is also higher than the other, with the left one sloping away at a much sharper angle than the right. I've noticed this sometimes when doing weights as well, and I don't know if it's anything to be concerned about. As I said yesterday, I pointed this all out to OsteoDude but he didn't seem to think it was a problem. But.. I'm not so sure. If I had a horse with a mysterious shoulder-bump and that didn't stand straight, I'd be questioning whether I ought to be expecting it to perform piaffe, you know?
Fuckity, I should see a doctor shouldn't I? The problem is, I've already been told by one professional that it's nothing to be worried about, now I feel as though continuing to insist that hey look bump and fix it please is being a hypochondriac or something. For those in the US, this probably seems ridiculous, but our culture is much, MUCH less about medical intervention than yours, and my own family culture was that needing a doctor is weakness. Needing two doctors is clearly attention-seeking. Etc.
Yes I know that's dumb but it does actually make it more difficult, psychologically. Also, OsteoDude came highly recommended so it feels a bit like throwing those recommendations back in people's faces. Having said that, he did fix my neck.. so maybe he can fix this too? I just feel weird about going to him and saying "Hey you know how I told you I thought there was a problem in my shoulder and you brushed it off? Well..."
I was never very good at being anything less than entirely capable, all the time.
Last night we watched 2 episodes of the documentary series Drugs Inc - the cocaine one and the ecstasy one. While I can see that the makers were doing their best to appear neutral, I couldn't help but laugh at the way they pulled numbers out of their arses. There are 2 million cocaine dealers in the US, apparently. I wonder how they came about that figure. The census? "Occupation: Tick one - carpenter, project manager, cocaine dealer." *cough* The guy sniffing sassafras oil and saying it made his head feel like it was going to explode was also pretty funny. Some of the ecstasy 'facts' - like how it gives you brain damage - weren't very facty, just saying, and the language used was mostly couched in the usual 'drugs are bad' hegemony. However, given that the people making it were probably TV producers and not drug policy experts, I can almost forgive them not noticing how biased their language was. But not quite. The media is the machinery of ideology (along with education) and National Geographic should be very very careful to ensure that their language is actually neutral.
However, for the most part these were nowhere near as bad as I was expecting, and they make some good points. They did demonstrate a positive side to drug use, and discuss the failure of the war on drugs in terms of potentially better options. I liked the way they took pains to portray the perspective of the primary producers in the drug trade - lots of people don't think about them at all. But for the most part, it seemed to be a 'once over lightly' look at the various drug trades for the benefit of the ignorant. I imagine it would make most people at least think beyond "Oh look, a morally-degenerate crack addict dumb shit deserves to die" anyway. And in that respect it's good, so I guess I recommend it?
Also, if sassafras trees are so endangered and taking them for oil is so terrible for the environment, perhaps allowing them to be farmed is not such a dumb idea.