It was humiliating. However, that's what he's there for - to not point and laugh, and to make it less humiliating over time, right?
Then we tried going from a handstand against the wall, lowering and raising again. Doing this, I can get about a third of the way down before it feels like my arms will collapse and I'll break my neck. This was slightly less humiliating because he tried it too and while he can do the press, his balance is crap so I felt better about mine. However, the thing I noticed is that doing that hard pressing, my core muscles are really important to hold everything together - once they go, I have no hope of bringing it back to a position I can maintain.
So anyway, he decided that lifting things over my head is the way to go, and proceeded to get one of those big heavy bars that the muscle dudes use for
Because I'm that classy, I asked this. Apparently that would be no fun for either of us, he said as he loaded on more weight with an evil gleam in his eye.
Anyway, I ended up doing five of these sets of three grunting and groaning lifts, and ended up with 25 kilos of extra weight on the bar for a total of 45 kilos. I couldn't do this without a spotter by the end but maybe fresh I could? I was feeling really impressed with myself until I realised I weigh 60 kilos and if I want to press to handstand I have to be able to lift that much over my head.
*sigh* I guess if I keep at it, right?
One thing, though. We do this stuff in the boxing gym which is where the Very Serious People seem to train. I'm probably just striking the wrong day, but everyone else in there seem to be Muscle Dudes, and I feel very strange being, well.. not to put too fine a point on it, small and weedy and female. But I'm nothing if not brazen and fuck it, I have as much right to be there as they do. I will not be intimidated by muscle mass, damnit. (btw it's not as if the other people have said or done anything to make me feel this way, it's purely my perception)
This stuff is also done looking in a mirror, the idea being that it's important to maintain correct form, especially when the things you're lifting are close to the limit of your capability, because otherwise you can hurt yourself. I'm having to get over my aversion to looking at myself - this is not easy when I'm pulling faces like this:
And flecks of spittle are flying and I'm all red in the face and I know I shouldn't care and hello I don't exactly look fresh as a daisy when I'm shearing either but at least then I don't have to look at myself, you know?
So um, yeah. I'll get the hang of it, right?
Today, things hurt. Unexpected things, like my thighs and the muscles in my middle back. I'm told that lifting things over your head is the best overall exercise for getting generally stronger, and I can sort of see why. BRB off to go lift more things over my head. As long as they weigh <45 kilos, anway.
Meanwhile, the university asked me to change my password this morning. Weirdly it doesn't check to make sure your new password isn't exactly the same as your old one. I've been using the same password over there for 5 years. Yes I know it's risky, but seriously? What is an internet evil-person going to do? Enrol me in Statistics? So yeah. A bit odd, that. Every other site that requires a password change periodically, generally makes sure you actually change it.
Universities - not huge funding for IT, I gather?
I might have spent a short time looking at prestigious overseas universities' postgrad Criminology offerings yesterday. Because it doesn't hurt to know, eh?
* Aaron the trainer dude. He gets this name because he comes with his own DUN DUN DUN doom music these days since every time I see him it means pain.