Is mah tongue, artfully stained with black food colouring. You're supposed to use blue which would probably look much less like The Black Death, but we only had black or red, and red would be kind of useless I think. It's for finding out if I'm a supertaster. I've been meaning to do it for a while, trying to get to the bottom of this alcohol thing. The deal is, you stain your tongue with food colouring and that makes the fungiform papillae (where the taste buds live) show up as not-stained. Then you punch a hole in a bit of card, hold it on your tongue, and count the papillae.
The problem is, there are big'uns and little'uns and I didn't know which to count, so I did two counts:
Quartering it definitely helped. If I count all the bumpy bits, I get a total of 53. If I count only the big bumpy bits, I get 30. According to the link above, the magic number for a supertaster is about 35. But I wanted to be sure so I went and looked at another site. This one's a bit more detailed and has diagrams and stuff, and a table. Apparently you're only supposed to count the big ones, so I tried putting dots where the big ones seem to be:
By that count, there are 38. Which means.. I have no idea because on that site it measures them by number/mm2. Time for some maths.
My hole punch hole is 6mm diameter. This means the area of my circle is π x 9 = 28.27mm2. 38/28.27=1.34 papillae/mm2. Right, now we're getting somewhere. So back up to the top of the page, the table says greater than 1/mm2 = supertaster. Even on my more conservative estimate of 30 big blobbly things, that puts my tongue in the first column. And looking at some of the other things in that column, it makes sense. They even have "Alcohol tastes like petrol."
So there's that. Thanks for playing along.
tl;dr I have a lot of taste buds and will probably never get used to alcohol and also fish and chips = yum.
Meanwhile, I hammered out another 2000 words yesterday. This is my life. When I stop thinking, it's lots of fun. But most of the time I'm thinking.
[edited to add] You should go here and vote. It's Peter Dunne (who has the deciding vote in Parliament) polling people's opinion on the asset sales.