Oh, about that borrowing of money. I've never missed a payment on those loans. NEVER. Also, the last loan I got from you, I paid back a year early.
My credit rating is A for Awesome - a fact that you would be absolutely clear on if you hadn't somehow managed to lose records of all my dealings prior to 2005, but that should also be evident based solely on my dealings since then.
I am half owner of a house in which I have more equity than the bank does, and my share in that house is worth more than 20 times the amount I'm asking to borrow from you now.
I have 5 accounts with your branch, each of which has a history that demonstrates appropriate conduct in financial affairs, and also shows the history of my rent, mortgage and all bills being paid regularly along with the regular payment of my income, which has increased a great deal over the history of my banking with you.
So don't act so fucking surprised when I get annoyed at you for asking for still more evidence that I'm a good risk, and expect a reasonable explanation as to why you need to see witnessed copies of bank statements from my mortgage account to 'prove my good conduct in banking'.
News flash, most people don't even get bank statements any more. Banks now charge to produce them, and for me to procure these statements at my own expense from an account that I share with another person, take them to a branch of your bank and get them witnessed, just to prove something that you can find by searching the accounts I keep at your bank, is an onerous and unnecessary requirement that will cost me money and time that I am not interested in spending. It demonstrates a lack of trust that I find offensive, and given my history of dealings with your bank it's also insulting to be asked to do this.
Please rectify this situation.
PS There's a good chance that in the next couple of years I will be in the market for a mortgage. How you deal with me now will affect my consideration of you as the bank to which I give that mortgage (and the income that will spring from it).
I am no longer the person who was freaked out by bank managers 15 years ago. I am not willing to be treated with suspicion for no good reason, and I am in just the right frame of mind these days to get riled enough by this shagging around to shift all my bank accounts to the bank that currently holds my mortgage, just to save future hassle.