Well, actually.. turns out my fingers have an Off Button Homing Beacon. Who knew? And yet this beacon is not attached to my brain, which assumes that any finger manipulation in the morning means 'snooze button' and therefore goes back to Blissland in the happy reassuredness that the alarm will go off again in 10 minutes and wake me up properly.
And yet I made it to work only 15 minutes late. And as far as I can tell all my clothes are on the right way round and everything! And mostly match, I think. Go me.
OK so now I'm going to have a bit of a rant. Before I do that, I'd like to disclaim (watch keptinacan roll his eyes heavenwards) - for those of you that use this term, I'm not having a go at you. I'm talking about myself. This is my thing, my reaction, based on my perspective, foibles and hobby horses - and not just a little on my Scary Independent nature.
OK hopefully that does it for the not offending people part.
In the last few weeks I've had several people say things to me along the lines of having Landed A Man. They have all been positive things, but that Landed bit bugs me. Why?
Well, for a start, ferrouswheel is not a fish. He's humanoid, I can vouch for that. Also, fish can't spell. Just saying.
Anyway, the term 'landed' implies that I was fishing - that life is a process of attempting to hook your prey and play it till you get it to shore, then kill it and eat it. I used to work on a charter boat out of Tutukaka, and I know that landing a fish involves a lot of pre-landing preparation - organising bait or lures, a suitable rod/line/hook for playing your fish, and then going to where the fish are to target your catch. Once you've hooked your fish, you 'play' it - allowing it to think it's getting away while putting slight pressure on it so that it tires and eventually you can reel it in because it's too exhausted to fight any more.
Can you see why this metaphor bothers me when applied to romance? Yeah. It plays into all those generalisations/stereotypes that as a woman I'm out there using my cunning and wiles to manipulate men into being with me, and that rubs me all the wrong ways.
Can I just say here that I like to reserve my fishing tactics for catching fish? Because men have more brains than fish, and to be honest I would be miserable in a relationship where I knew that it only existed because of my manipulation. In fact that kind of thing would be very unlikely to happen at all - why on earth would I want a man who was only with me because he was too tired to fight? I like my man to be a bit livelier and more interested than that. O.o
So anyway, I think Collided With might be a more appropriate metaphor for me than Landed. Because my obliviousness, it knows no bounds. Bumbling along blithely doing my thing and then crashing into someone wonderful who is also bumbling along (albeit with much more finesse) and falling over in a beautiful and spectacular puddle of OMGYOULETSDOATHINGTOGETHER! sounds a lot closer to the truth, you know?
However, I've probably just done that Tats thing where I hook on to a metaphor and read way more into it than should be allowed. Because I think too much. And also because I'll currently do anything to avoid thinking about victim surveys. Please forgive me and allow me my little rants. I'm mostly harmless. I'm also not a fish.
I'll be at Fidels tonight. Possibly pontificating. And trying to avoid letting the conversation turn to economics like it did last time I tried to get input on crime stuff. Economics and crime, synonymous? Who'd a thunk it?