tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

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Today I am wearing my drapey skirt of eye-gouging greenness. It's the sort of colour you have to have a certain amount of brazen to wear. I like that most people don't have that - it's a wrap skirt that drapes beautifully, and if it weren't for the colour, there's no way it'd be still on the rack when I got there.

I am the queen of acid green.

I really like the way the 'night portrait' setting on my camera makes it so the gnarly bruises don't show up...


Anyway. Life. Yes. Sometimes I wonder if there really is someone up there and if they're doing it deliberately. Last night I spoke with Tommy's father. This is the first actual conversation we've had in about 8 years. He was.. humble, and acting mature (is this a trick? says my inner cynic), and wants Tommy to come and live with me starting at the start of the next school year.

*cue a whole bunch of mixed emotions that i can't even begin to untangle*

It goes something like this:


So I agreed to talk with Tommy about it while he's here for his holiday, and investigate schools and zoning and the like, and have further discussions in the New Year. Trevor didn't even bat an eyelid when I mentioned that I'd have to stop paying Child Support. Which makes me think he's serious.

(this is the bit where i don't really believe it till it actually happens)

This would change my life somewhat. But probably not as much as my imagination is imagining. Tommy isn't a baby anymore, he's almost an adult (who was that deep-voiced person who answered the phone?), of an age where he's allowed to babysit others, and a very smart young man whose conversation is interesting and engaging (and who got 88% in his final maths exam!). And living in Wellington surrounded by my friends would be a great thing for him. And my friends like him and have offered to help.

So why am I freaking out about this? Ok. This is the bit where I give myself a few days to get over myself before doing anything.

Funny, last week I was pootling along Doing My Thing, feeling like something big was about to happen. And then two Big Things happened within a few days of each other. And I'm reeling from the universal everythingness of it all. In a good way, but reeling nonetheless.

Hi I'm Tats and I don't do anything by halves. O.o

So now I have a huge silly grin AND a thousand-yard stare. And I'm going to take my somewhat distracted self and go learn me some Criminology. Because theorists never fail to slow my brain down.

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