tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

Da Roof is not on fire...

The cyclone didn't really come to much, did it? I raced home last night to set up my roof-leak fortifications*, all for nought. There was some wind which was impressive, but not enough rain to prevent me skating in this morning. Not that I'm complaining.

* There are two tiles displaced just above my bedroom window. Unfortunately, because the roof is steep-pitched and made of the oldskool ceramic tiles, abseiling down to fix them is virtually impossible (you can't put weight on these tiles and the gap is right on the edge by the guttering, away from any supporting substrate). Basically, you have to come up from below, a distance of around 12m, and our ladder is only 5m. grist has called a roofer to come and look at replacing the whole thing, since we're tired of losing tiles in storms and coping with the subsequent leakage - but as with everything else in the building industry, there's more work than people to do it, and we aren't holding our breath to have it done. Meanwhile, my system for wicking drips away out the window is working as a stopgap.

So in one respect, this drought-like weather is a bonus.

It seems that telling me that the chicks are laughing at me because of my tiny penis is not working to sell me pills, so the spammers are now trying some new tactics:

"6 inches is normal, but you NEED 9 inches to be a real man!" - When I want to be a real man, I'll let you know!

Don't let people laugh at the size of your manhood, change your life today! - See? Apparently it isn't the chicks that are laughing at the size of my manhood, it's everyone! Because, you know, I show it to everyone!

Hi tatjna. To Protrude and Serve - Gosh. Reckon this one's got a good grasp of English? I LOLed.

Alluvial, Display your woman show woman yourself care and are willing to help you - And this one definitely hasn't!

Your chick shack up with your friend that is why you're alone. Because of of his device size. Girlfriends love big device. Dont panic guy. - So now it's only girlfriends that love those big devices. Gotta get me some of those big devices, yeah. Only, what I'd really like is a big vice. Wanna buy me one?

Then there are the ones with the positive messages:

Instill fear in you lady tonight, with V:P:X+L inspired cock's might! - Because scaring your lady will definitely lead to a more satisfying sex life. We women love to be terrified. Oh yes.

Miracle solution that makes you have a long monster in your pants - Yep. Any man that pulled down his pants to reveal a long monster (alligator? nessie? taniwha?) would scare me. Right away, in fact.

Get your new 9 inch ding dong with our herbs - And likewise, anyone who called their penis their 'ding dong' would also scare me away.

Hmm.. nope. Still don't want to enlarge my penis. But thanks for thinking of me...

I am looking forward to the weekend, when Pinkness will take over my hair. In fact, I believe it's becoming contagious, this Pinkness. Bring The Pink, I say!

There's been a request for a rewearing of the succubus costume at Kiwiburn. I was going to leave it behind, but apparently it's a requirement. Hope it's warm there. ;-)

And finally, in news that will interest maybe one person on my flist, I have become a fake vet. I can now make fake medicine and sell it to people to dose their fake horses with. I find it amusing that the best selling item is methamphetamine. If you don't hear from me, it's because my fake meth lab has blown up. *nod*

PS eating mostly plants makes you fart lots.
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