Consequently, I seem to have developed that discipline that writers strive for, in that if I don't have anything to write about, I still feel the need to write. You know that thing where they say that if you just start writing without worrying too much about what comes out, eventually you'll have something worth keeping? Well after four years of daily blogging, I can say that while the quality of my writing is debatable, the regular, reliable quantity is pretty consistent.
Good question. I was feeling the need to write so I looked on Stuff to see if there was anything rant-worthy. Emma Agnew found (I am embarrassed to admit I didn't know she was missing till they found her - the joys of not watching TV or listening to the radio).. John Howard not elected, Bush promises to help make peace in the Middle East, nobody wants to *cough* gamble on buying Sky City. *yawns*
Then I found the 'most viewed' section. It lists the 10 items that Kiwis have been looking at most today. So, what's big important news in NZ, in order of interest?
10. Someone's cellphone battery actually did explode. Nokia investigates.
9. Mothers are being bribed with $100 grocery vouchers to leave Wellington Hospital within 6 hours of giving birth.
8. The Australians are offering big bikkies (more than three times that offered to any Aussie candidate) to Robbie Deans (Canterbury Crusaders rugby team coach) to go coach the Wallabies.
7. Helen Clark (our Prime Minister) gets spotted texting during a speech by the queen. (nothing like seeing your intrepid leaders looking silly to make you feel good)
6. Trelise Cooper (fashion designer) is embarrassed that her daughter is facing drugs charges.
5. Human interest "I told you so" story about Graeme Burton (a prisoner who was paroled and went on to kill someone). Apparently other inmates were scared of him.
4. People have been getting scammed by telemarketers (this is news?)
3. Overbred Burmese kitten born too small actually survives. (i kid you not. third most read story on stuff today). I just hope they neuter him.
2. Heath Ledger apparently needs a bath. Fellow train travellers complain. Hilarity ensues.
1. The guy charged with the murder of Emma Agnew changed his name four years ago. (Read: nothing to report, so lets put up something to make the world think he's dodgy, just to keep interest alive till there is something to report).
Yes, folks - this is the stuff that we're finding interesting today. Tiny kitties, smelly celebrities, impolite politicians. No wonder I had so little to say.
Although, the cellphone thing is interesting. I've read about it enough, there are warnings about it, but this is the first time I've heard of it actually happening. *eyes own phone suspiciously*
Ah fuck it. Have a cartoon.
Today, I am trawling the Standards Australia website (which is a horrendous shade of Aussie Rugby Team Probably Trademarked Bright Eye Gouging Yellow), and deciphering incomprehensible spreadsheets which have also been vomited on by Rainbow Brite.
Also, I think my hair is plotting to take over a small country.