Luckily, I know it only usually lasts a day or two and if I'm good to myself, it never gets to be more than just a monologue whispering quietly in the back of my brain. However, I do get cranky and would prefer to be alone on such occasions.
So, what did I do?
Is it a sign that I'm evolved, that I managed to squish my natural tendency to bite people, and was actually sociable and friendly and forthcoming with the conversation and the smiles?
I was meeting members of xhile's family for the first time. Dad, uncles, aunts, cousins, various hangers-on - one of those situations where it could be great or heinous. Luckily for me, it was great.
Kind of bizarre getting into a car and having someone rush round to get the door for you - a small tug of war ensued, wherein I tried to close the door but met resistance. So I capitulated in the name of politeness, and the door was closed for me. And I went "Gosh."
I am not accustomed to gentlemanly behaviour, and it weirded me out slightly, but I recognise that I was dealing with someone from an era where such things were the norm, and I shouldn't read anything into it. I wonder if he does it for his wife too? That would be really cool.
When you go to dinner with the family of your SO for the first time, it's hard not to feel as if you're being inspected and measured up. Especially when there's one of you and eight of them. I was so good, you should've seen me! There were discussions of alcohol, politics AND religion, and I didn't rant or debate at all!
*cue disbelieving looks from readers*
In fact, it was a unique opportunity to observe other people holding forth on the topics without knowing anything about my own leanings, and thus not being coloured by that. They just said what they thought without censorship.
So anyway, it was fun and lively and enjoyable. And on the way home, xhile's Dad said to me "So did we pass?"
I was utterly gobsmacked. Here was me, all this time thinking I was the one under inspection from The Family, and there he was right along with me, being on his best behaviour and generally wondering what I thought of them, whether they measured up to my standard.
Social interaction is weird.
I had automatically assumed that they would, you see. I generally walk into situations like that, assuming that I'll probably like at least most of the people, and prepared to cut slack for 'standing on my toes' with things they don't know about me. The odd bit is where I don't expect the same in return. And, it would seem, other people do exactly the same thing. Yet, we never quite make the connection that we're all thinking that, and just relax in the realisation that 'that other person who we feel we have to impress' will probably like us, will cut us slack, and is trying just as hard.
Wouldn't it be cool if we could get all that stuff out of the way on first meeting. "Hi, xhile's Dad. I like you and your son is evidence of the kind of person you are. Awesome. Now let's have fun."
I skated to work this morning. It took me exactly the same time it would take if I caught the bus, only it was more fun and it's free. The only problem with skating to work is that the wind usually gets up during the day, and it's in my face on the way home, and it's really hard to 'bullet' myself and maintain balance while wearing a backpack. I do feel very unrestrained though. I have no car to find parking for, and no bus timetable to adhere to. If I want to go somewhere, I put my skates on and off I go, at around 3-4 times walking pace.
(my skates need new wheels boo)