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So last night I got bitten in the backside by Black Sheep. I was back at Taratahi, where I used to work, and a new lot of sheep were brought in - ewes that were about to lamb. I noticed something weird about them - they were really bruised-looking around the eyes, and they had big flarey nostrils, the whites of their eyes were showing and they had big, swollen juju lips. I decided to leave them in the yard to await developments.
But, as can be the case when working with 50-odd 17 year old farm lads and lasses, someone thought they'd 'do the right thing' and let the sheep out of the yards and in with the others, where they proceeded to go rabid and start attacking things while giving birth to lots of nasty vicious, red-eyed lambs.
My job, naturally, was to contain the disaster and prevent it from spreading. This seemed to mainly involve running round the paddocks at night, in my pyjamas, finding red-eyed sheep and cutting their heads off. Oddly, the diseased ones didn't have any spinal column, which made decapitating them very easy.
And of course the 'kiddies' parents weren't to find out, and a mass clandestine evacuation was carried out.
Strangely enough, in my dream it wasn't the immediate danger to life that was disturbing - it was the thought of my fat happy normal sheep being 'tainted' by this strain of vicious zombie sheep, and my failure to protect them from danger, and inability to fix them once I saw the signs that they were turning into zombies.
You can take the girl off the farm....
Can someone please explain El Nino/La Nina to me? I get the feeling that something in our weather patterns has flipped over this year - suddenly we're getting proper spring-turning-to-summer weather, when for the last five years or so it's been winter up until January, then a brief two months of summer, then winter again.
Are we actually in for proper seasons this year, or is this wishful thinking on my part?