tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

In the email this morning

"Dear Wendy,

Your psi hoop is made and has been sent express delivery. You should have it by Monday August the 6th.

Love, Patrick"

(ok i lied about the love bit) But, *SQUEE* Only six sleeps! *fidgets*

What the hell is so appealing about neediness?

This morning, in response to a comment wherein someone said hearing "I need you" is sexy, I wrote this:

"It's a strange one, that. Because the words 'I need you' seem affirming, and give one a sense of being strong, competent and, well, needed. Yet, the reality of being actually needed places a heavy responsibility on a person - basically the responsibility for the needy person. Which is fine if you're a control freak or if you actually do want to be that needed, but not so much if it's actually the case - if your absence (in any way) will actually spell breakdown for the other person.

I think this is where there's a difference between interdependence and codependence. For me, I want to be wanted, desired, loved, respected, admired, all that good stuff - but when it comes to being literally needed, it goes beyond what I'm able to emotionally deal with in terms of my responsibility to another. I immediately start thinking about the 'what ifs' - what if i can't be what that person needs me to be? etc.

I will disclaim this little essay by saying that I think my experience of being needed may colour my view of what need actually is. When my SO is not around, I miss him, and I want to be with him. Being with him makes my life better. But I would never insist that I need him to be around for my survival (emotional or physical) - that would place an unfair responsibility on him for what is actually my stuff to deal with, and put him in a position where if he accepted that need, he would become responsible for me. You know?"

And yet I see neediness and dependence being encouraged. And some people find it sexy. What's with that? I don't get it.


In other news, the Boy Next Door just got a whole lot more interesting. Hehe.

And work has gone insane. All of it. If it were a horse, we'd shoot it out of mercy.
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