Oh, the comfort--the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person,
Having neither to weigh thoughts,
Nor measure words--but pouring them
All right out--just as they are--
Chaff and grain together--
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them--
Keep what is worth keeping--
And with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.
Dinah Maria Mulock Craik
And of course the obligatory dissection and introspection:
It's about friendship. The reason it reminds me of Charlotte is that it's exactly what she does - not measure words, but pour them all right out, just as they are. I was always taught to measure my words carefully, remember what I have said and never say anything I don't mean. An interesting consequence of this is that I expect other people to be just like me (egocentrism central, here I am!). The fact that a lot of people aren't like that gets brought home to me occasionally. Plenty of people say things and then promptly forget they said them, or flip off comments without thinking too much of their effect. Sometimes, when you remind someone of what they've said, they deny ever having said it - or they can't remember, or whatever. Or "That was just how I was feeling at the time, things are different now." For me, this has always spelled 'inconsistency.'
But I'm thinking, Charlotte does this. She does it a lot. I've mentioned before that she's a very open person, and that she has no secrets and no lies. It's all just out there for the world to see, and she's happy with it that way. And she's one of my favourite people. Sometimes she's ranting-angry, sometimes she's deleriously-silly-happy, sometimes she says things she doesn't mean. But one thing that's always consistent about her is her friendship, her warmth, and her ability to keep what's worth keeping and with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
So in my meandering thoughts about this poem, I ended up wondering if my expectation that people will always mean what they say and hold to it, is unrealistic and judgemental, that people are naturally inconsistent and that maybe I should relax and cut them (and myself) some slack for the chaff and the grain of words.
And then I thought "Dude, it's just a poem. Chill out, ffs!" *grin*
But yeah, I like it. I like it a lot.
This week's horoscope has me stopping with the kicking of doors and starting with the climbing of ladders. Of course, I'm all "Hey, I'll climb a ladder into that aeroplane, no problem!" Also with the not being satisfied with anything but the real thing. And once again, could be true for anyone, but hey, I'll take that too.
I'm feeling inordinately pleased with myself for having hurdled the (trifling to some) barrier of DVD burnage. Bear in mind that since my early geek career in the 80s (wherein I was allowed on the one school computer because I knew a little Basic and therefore was miles ahead of everyone else), there was a huge gap in my knowledge - about 15 years where computers figured not at all. When I got my first pc in 1998, a gift from grist who had decided to drag me kicking and screaming into the silicon age, one of the first things I did was delete my OS trying to make more room on the hard drive. "System32? I never use that, obviously I don't need it." *deletes*
*kicks self later*
So anyway, I've come a long way since then, and although considered a geek by some because of my net fu (which is secretly just the product of living alone, 60km from anywhere, with no TV or radio but internet access unlimited) and my ubergeek brother, I'm really not. The DVD burner (that some geeks muttered about because by pure blind luck I got a better, faster, cheaper one than them, two days after they bought theirs) is a relatively recent purchase. This is the first time I've used it. And yes, the first attempt failed, because I didn't click the thing that made the application recognise my burner as the required device to use. I thought this was a bit odd, since it's the only device, but anyway. grist arrived home to me stomping and grrr-ing and slamming drawers. He said "What are you doing?" I said "I'm stomping and grrr-ing and slamming drawers. Oh, and trying and failing to burn a DVD."
He, of course, went within a 2m radius of my pc, pointed out my error, and everything worked perfectly after that. (I'm pretty sure grist exudes some kind of calming miasma that works on puters btw). I'm now the proud (inordinately proud) owner of My First Burnination DVD. It has songs. Lots of them. *manic grin* One thing I don't get though, is if the pack says it has a capacity of 4.7G, how come it would only accept 4.5G of data? (I know, it needs room for the filing system, but just how many Mb does one filing system need?)
Tonight is Hair Night. *excited* There will probably be photos on the pretext of making sure various people recognise me at airports and train stations, but really it's because I'm a narcissistic cam-whore.