tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

Rules for grocery shopping in Wainuiomata

1. Do NOT speak to the natives.

2. Under no circumstances make eye contact with anybody.

3. Synchronize watches and have a plan that makes it possible to get in and out in minimum time.

4. Wear unobtrusive clothing (jeans, hoodie, sunnies should do it)

5. Do not go with a male companion. The checkout chick will assume he is your boyfriend and make embarrassing/disparaging remarks, loud enough for him to hear.

6. Do not get in the 'short' queue. Unfailingly, the one person in front of you will be a local who wants to swap his pack of Holiday Menthols for Holiday Mild, and insists on paying in exact change which he keeps in his underwear.

7. Better still, just do not get out of your car in Wainui.

In other news, grist now has a guest book on his website. GO SIGN IT!!!

Ohmigod. I just watched a tv show where the presenter gets his scrotum nailed to a board as a demonstration of the s&m available in Paris. Now -that's- dedicated...
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