tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

Normally I'm pretty positive

But my catchphrase for today is

What. The Fuck. Ever.

Shamelessy yoinked:

Yo Mama So Vegan!

Yo mama so vegan she don't eat eggplant.
Yo mama so vegan she freed all the animal crackers.
Yo mama so vegan animals test on her.
Yo mama so vegan when she became a zombie she only ate graaaaaiiiiiiinnns.

Yo mama so vegan, she got a sleeve tattoo of a swamp, to make the mosquitoes feel more at home.
Yo mama so vegan, when the photographer told her to say "Cheese," she decked him with a copy of Meat Market.
Yo mama so vegan, she thought vivisection was a neighborhood.
Yo mama so vegan she protests the Chicken Dance.
Yo mama so vegan she lactates EdenSoy.

Yo mama so vegan that she doesn't approve of the way that you appropriate African-American Vernacular English for the sake of a joke, and she sits you down and talks to you about the long history of hardship that people of color have suffered through, and the important role that sociolect plays in maintaining the social cohesion of an oppressed group. But then she makes sure to give you a big hug and a vegan cookie and lets you know that she's not mad at you, she just wants you to understand. Now run along and play with your friends, you little scamp.

Yo mama also asked me to say that that wouldn't apply to you if this was actually part of your idiom. She doesn't want anyone to think that she assumes all vegans are white people. Even though a lot of vegans are white people and we should probably be aware of the cultural differences in attitudes towards food. She's not putting forward an argument for moral relativism, she's just pointing out that we need to be sensitive about other people's beliefs. Look, this is just what she told me, ok? Don't shoot the messenger.

Ok, now yo mama is IMing me and asking if she's overthinking this, and whether it's really a problem at all to use Black vernacular, as long as we're adequately respectful of the yo mama joke tradition. I think I'm going to have to block her. Don't tell her though, ok? I don't need her calling me up and explaining to me how it's not vegan to block her.

Yo mama so vegan she wears L'EggReplacers.
Yo mama so vegan she thinks pigtails are fascist.
Yo mama so vegan she wrote the Vegan Police a ticket.
Yo mama so vegan, she shears her hair to make sweaters for sheep.
Yo mama so vegan she drinks Wild Tofurkey.


Anyway, it's because my puter with its $800 upgrade, is running WoW like a haunted shithouse, like one of those hand-wound movie cameras wound by a drunk old amputee guy with a bad back who's holding the handle in his teeth. And I don't know what's wrong. grist will fix it, he always does (the advantages of living with an old-school ubergeek) but Wah! *stomp*

And because Crofton Downs Woolworths doesn't sell wasabi peas. *stomp*

And some other stuff that I forget.


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