tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

"Let the silk settle"

Always too eager for the future, we
Pick up bad habits of expectancy.
Something is always approaching; every day
Till then we say,

Watching from a bluff the tiny, clear
Sparkling armada of promises draw near.
How slow they are!
And how much time they waste, Refusing to make haste!

Yet still they leave us holding wretched stalks
Of disappointment, for, though nothing balks
Each big approach, leaning with brasswork prinked,
Each rope distinct,

Flagged, and the figurehead wit golden tits
Arching our way, it never anchors; it's
No sooner present than it turns to past.
Right to the last

We think each one will heave to and unload
All good into our lives, all we are owed
For waiting so devoutly and so long.
But we are wrong:

Only one ship is seeking us, a black-
Sailed unfamiliar, towing at her back
A huge and birdless silence. In her wake
No waters breed or break.

Philip Larkin

I love Ralph.

Meanwhile, my head is playing with the aikido 'empty vessel' concept - which is about the stripping away of ego and conscious thought, and becoming 'empty' to allow the innate knowledge of interaction on a physical, mental and spiritual plane (or ki if you're talking in those terms) to come through.

There's definitely something in this idea - something that's flitting around the edges of my mind, something to do with all the stuff that's happened lately and the loss of so many things that I considered to be important. About future-gazing (or rather - not future gazing).. instead allowing life to happen now.. something that's extremely difficult to formulate into words.

It's also difficult to do. Because it's about not doing. And not doing goes against the training of a lifetime to always be pursuing something, to make things better, to gain what is perceived to be 'missing'. A conscious effort to not seek and strive, if you will - to let go of the expectation that doing something to change things will be better than allowing things to change and going along for the ride. Surrender of the illusion of control, maybe?

See what I mean? Really, really hard to articulate. But.. there's something in it. I can see that, at least.

And you know, since I started mulling over this concept, life has suddenly got very very interesting.

OK, for those who prefer things to be a little less esoteric,

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.