tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

Gymnastic dogs and fried tonsils - what more could a girl ask for?

First did a handstand yesterday. Yup, a freaking handstand. She's an entire bitch and will cock her leg (forwards not backwards) when she pees. Doing this she can pee higher than a lot of male dogs. Anyway. she goes up to a thistle, backs up and cocks her leg. The thistle must have got her because next thing she's lifted her other leg off the ground and she's balanced there on just her two front legs till she's finished peeing. My dog is a freak.

I had to link to this craziness because I know heaps of people who will get amusement out of it. Hands up anyone who's that well-trained, I want to get the phone number of your trainer, k? And, thanks thirstygirl for that link.

Mt Kaukau is a nice walk, and when it's windy like it was yesterday, remember to take a big jacket so you can stand up by the trig, just where the updraft comes over the edge, and play at flying. Also, when it's really windy hardly anyone goes there. That's the best time.

Speaking of hills, the Tongariro Crossing walk Mark 2 will be the weekend of the 25th and 26th, for those who need to organise themselves. I'm going to attempt to get a shuttle from National Park, since they at least have reliably good accommodation. And a spa pool and showers that you can stand in for four hours and they stay hot.

My left ear hurts. And I've been thinking about alcohol. Some people really like the taste. I generally don't. But on Saturday I had beer, which because I was hot, tasted wet and cold and therefore tolerable (Monteiths Gold in case anyone was wondering) - in fact I could almost stretch to pleasant. I had Jim Beam and coke, which was sweet and cokey and, well, tolerable but nothing special. And I had this Lagavulin stuff. Now, that was scotch (which, I am informed, has nothing to do with notabouthim's head - one could almost say scotch is notabouthead *cough*). I Know Stuff about scotch.

Stuff like how there is no such thing as double malt. And that blended Scotch is not as good. And that really Scotland is irrelevant these days*.

Now, in my search for the correct spelling of Lagavulin, I came across a guy who said that it has the most character of any scotch he's had (scroll down for a comprehensive list). Personally I'm inclined to believe him - me lacking any real experience of other scotch and all.

Anyway, I'm sitting there with a small amount of this stuff sitting in the bottom of a glass - maybe a nip or so. One one side I have someone saying "Don't have much, just sip and savour." On the other side there is someone else saying "Take a good mouthful and feel it go down." I'm thinking, the appropriate thing to do would be to sniff, sip, swill, swallow, like the wine taster guys. At this point I should probably reiterate that I'd had several beers and some other turpslike concoction. So I swallowed the whole lot in one go. Now I know what 'character' actually means.

It means, you put this alcohol in your mouth and swallow. Shortly afterwards you will feel a burning sensation in your oesophagus, which will slowly creep downwards to your stomach and possibly even your liver, which is burning in anticipation. Around the time that the burn hits your liver, a small explosive device will go off in your mouth and your throat will catch fire, causing your eyes to start watering. By the time the slow internal burn has finished, your eyes will have finished watering and your throat will have reduced to a smoulder, which will continue off and on for the next 20 minutes. You may or may not be able to speak at this point. There will be flushing of skin as all your blood gets as far from your liver as it possibly can.

Once the pain has subsided, you can taste some really interesting things. Things that you wouldn't expect to taste. Things like wood. And an unidentified musky type flavour that you smell as much as taste. It's actually quite nice. Don't tell anyone I admitted that, mmmk?

Also, just as a side note, you can get the interesting flavours without the splodey digestive system, by getting one drop of the scotch and putting it on your tongue. But I'm told that's not right because part of the purpose is something to do with the effect it has on your equilibrium, and you should really go for the whole experience.

Thus endeth Tats lesson on how to 'enjoy' hard liquor. I am a wimp. But at least I tried it..

Also, you can get a similar effect with unsweetened pineapple juice and a burnt stick to chew on.

*Apparently I was wrong about the Scotland thing.
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