June 30th, 2016


Incoherent rant about a pet peeve

10 things you need to know before dating the outgoing introvert

I could write a massively long sociological and academic-sounding wank about this, but I'll spare you, and instead, give you a numerical list:

1. Humans love labels.
2. We are all special snowflakes.
3. My reality and yours aren't the same. Ironically, this is the same for everyone.
4. This is all ok.

From a massively long sociological and academic-sounding wank I read yesterday: "You do not need to have a deep, internal, essential experience of gender* to be free to dress how you like, behave how you like, work how you like, love who you like."

I'd like to add "You do not need to have the perfect label for every identity trait to be free to accept that other people can also dress how they like, behave how they like, work how they like, love who they like."

I'm an antisocial fuckface who hates small talk, can only cope with about four people at a time in conversation, doesn't really like having house guests, dislikes house parties, enjoys the anonymity of crowd dancing, can speak in front of 1000 people with zero nerves but will not even sing in front of my partner, likes people, has few friends but many acquaintances, will probably not come to your party but cares how you're doing anyway, would rather wear a costume than normal clothes, and sings along to 90s angst-rock when I'm alone.

News flash - I find Fidels gatherings really difficult but I go anyway.

Sometimes, none of this is true.

And this is all ok, despite how guilty I sometimes feel for not being more into being with people. I don't claim to be an introvert and it annoys me how many articles are written about Understanding The Introvert, as if somehow being 'An Introvert' makes you more worthy of other people's effort to understand than just being You.

I would like to be less of a grumpy bastard. I am trying to be more understanding of the need to apply a label to oneself in order to be We rather than Me. We is stronger than Me, but I am frustrated by the amount of We that I see being used to judge the other We over there for not being like Us. I'm aware that my disdain for this is judgemental and makes me exactly the same as the people doing it, and that my smug feeling of superiority as I type about all these people buying into silly labels is the same feeling anyone feels when they separate themselves from the Other and see themselves as somehow better.

The view from up my own arse is not very scenic, just saying.

* The article was about gender, but substitute any of the nouns we used to encompass identity and the same applies IMO.