June 11th, 2014

pigtails

Everything that's in my head right now

So, it's winter. In fact, we're just over a week out from the solstice. At our latitude, the worst of the winter weather comes after the solstice - July is often miserable, August somewhat settled, September stormy. But June? June is the month where the darkness encroaches, where the days feel like a blip in an endless expanse of darkness, and when it's overcast it feels like dusk all the time.

"What? You live on a Pacific island! WTF you talking about Tats?"

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So we staunch it out, because we are kiwis. We're hardcore, implacable, stoic. We don't have a real winter, not compared to those other people. So we shouldn't complain, we should just tuck our chin into our collar and keep acting like it doesn't get to us.

It gets to me. I don't know if it's because of my northern ancestry or because I'm a wuss or some other reason, but this time of year I just want to hibernate, sit in my cave with my warm fire and my closest people, and make things. I don't want to go out into the darkness and the yuck every morning and pretend that I'm the same as I am in summer, because I'm not. I'm sleepy and slow and I am not getting enough sun, and it affects me.

But, only another month to go before there's enough daylight in the morning and at night so I'll stop feeling like this. It doesn't take much. So I say, roll on the stink July sleetstorms, it's a whole lot better than being awake when I should be asleep.