August 14th, 2013

fuckoff

(no subject)

DoomBoy has disappeared. Not entirely, like, someone else at the gym told me he's in the US, but to all intents and purposes he just sort of went off without saying anything.

I'm torn between being annoyed that he didn't contact me to let me know he was going, concerned about his wellbeing, and asking myself if I was so annoying that he didn't want to tell me in case I became more annoying about it. Yes I know this last one is ridiculous but hey, welcome to the inside of my head. I'm that self-centred that if there's a way to make it about me, I'll find it. Sometimes this is a recipe for ridiculousness and self-blame and probably the result of some screaming insecurity on my part.

Anyway, I've stopped paying him. He hasn't responded to my breezy "So that's why you weren't giving me arseholes for skipping last week" email, and I've no idea if this is just a holiday or something permanent. It's a shame, he was doing a good job, and this is unprofessional as hell. I hold out hope that it's some kind of emergency and the mystery will be cleared up, but meanwhile I'm without a trainer.

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I might just go for a walk up Mt Vic at lunchtime since the weather's nice, and see if my lungs handle that. Blergh.