November 22nd, 2012

anime

More sheep related TMI

Things you generally don't hear in polite company: "I seem to have misplaced my elastrator."

And in fact, I have. For those who are unfamiliar with the term, this is an elastrator:



The rubber ring goes around the four pins on the end, and they stretch it out so you can slip it over tails, balls etc, the ring constricts blood vessels and the tails,balls etc eventually shrivel up and drop off*.

Yes, I know all the men reading this just crossed their legs. Do not, I repeat DO NOT google image search 'elastrator' with safe search switched off. I did. I'm not squeamish but I think I'm a bit traumatised. Also, Rule 34. It's a thing. Nuff said.

Anyway, I don't know where mine is, and I had to ring a couple of lambs on Tuesday. Luckily the YoT has strong fingers and between the two of us we got rings on tails no trouble, but I've no idea where my elastrator is. This bothers me. I like my elastrator, it's only useful for one thing but for that job it's awesome. Also, I have this dream about building up a tool kit with things in it that have names that make people go O.o. So far my list contains an elastrator, an emasculator (link goes to wiki, suggest not googling that either), a bastard file, and a butt gauge. Suggestions welcome for other additions to my macabre toolbox.

But yeah, where the fuck is my elastrator? And if I've left it somewhere, why haven't they called me and let me know? Who would want to keep such a thing?

No, don't answer that, mmk?

*When I was working in shearing gangs, at lamb shearing time we used to keep a sack to one side to put these hard little shrivelled ballsacks in. You can't let them get in the wool because they damage processing machinery. On some large places we'd get about 40kg of them. Yep.