December 7th, 2011


The height advantage

The Youth of Today got measured on Monday. Turns out his (fairly short lived) Scoff Everything In Sight kick was indeed another growth spurt. He's 6'4" now. Just like that. And 99kg.

HOLYFUCKHOWDIDIPRODUCETHISTHING? Also, if it were Ye Olden Tymes, he'd be awesome for pulling the plough. Sadly, these are Ye Newen Tymes and the best thing I can think of is to put a wireless receiver on his head. He is also kind of handy for reaching high ceilings to put in skyhooks and in a pinch he could be used to hold down tarps on a windy day. He claims he's also good company and has fantastic taste in music, but he could do those things if he were 5'0" as well.

Also, new pants becoming necessary. Crap. See, if mah offspring had stopped growing at 5'7" I wouldn't have had to buy anywhere near as many pants. Small people are more economical - unless you've a plough needs pulling. So in the Brighter Future where we all have to grow our own food cos we can't afford supermarket stuff, all those new pants will pay off, right?

Logic. I has it.

Kind of related, this morning I had someone try to tell me that a) the increase in average height of people over the last few hundred years is a product of women selecting for tall men and thus inflicting genocide on short men, and b) penis size has been increasing at the same rate.

To which I went "Logic. U NO HAS." Because trying to give a serious answer to something like that is beyond me right now.