July 20th, 2011

bright1

Hi to new people!

Intro post here for those wot are interested.

Last night I came to the conclusion that what's wrong with my ear is actually Google's fault. It's installed a faulty version of itself into my cochlea and is alternating Google Translate, in which it translates everything that goes in into a Baltic language, with Google Echo (still in beta) which demonstrates what my own voice sounds like in amplified form. Unfortunately both of these apps are a little glitchy on my OS, which means the Baltic translator is talking through a mouthful of lettuce and my own voice is apparently booming, resonant and baritone. It also repeats itself with a split-second lag. Who knew?

When Google+, which is rapidly turning into a Facebook clone complete with too-much-posting-to-keep-up-with, random people you've never heard of friending you and complaints about policy, starts posting into my left ear at a rate of three short status updates and a link a minute*, I plan to book myself in to have my cochlea officially shut down.

* Please note the lack of Oxford comma in the previous sentence. I would like to say I'm a good obedient citizen and following the rules but we all know this is bollocks and actually I just use them or not as the mood strikes me.

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I need more Flying Lotus in my life. Just saying.

[edit] Because I loves me some edits. LJ! What is your secret useless superpower? I have two: catching people having sex, and manifesting little old men to give me directions. What are yours?