June 10th, 2009

shorts

I'm a deviant, you're a deviant, everyone's a deviant.

I got approached by a guy in the train station the other day - he was stocky and tough-looking with facial tattoos, and was dressed as if for work on a construction site.

Him: Where did you get your cloak?
Me: I made it.
Him: I really like the hood.
Me: Hehe, I got overtaken by whimsy and now I look like a refugee from Harry Potter!
Him: I have one just the same, only mine's made of pure silk..
Me: *experiences cognitive dissonance*

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Hmm, that's a lot to come from some random meeting with a tough-guy with a penchant for silk robes with pointy hoods, huh? I think too much.

In other news, New Spam Tack! Add the subject line "You're a moron." Sure to get people buying your product. Or how about "Always good loving attack!" Go on, you know you want to....
first

Mah dawg, she is old..

And lately she's been feeling the cold. We all have. Difference is, she lives outside and is just gormless enough to sit in the teeth of the wind while sleet settles on her fur - instead of lolling about in her Luxury-O-Matic Kennel Of Insulatedness - just in case she catches a glimpse of the cat. Seriously, Beatles fans had nothing on her. If she had undies, she'd throw them at Fric.

Anyway, the weather's been particularly cold lately, with it getting down below zero at night and just above it during the day, a five-day southerly storm or two and lots and lots of rain. And she's been losing weight because *loop back to suicidal cat-obsession*. Add to this that for some reason she's moulting (so's Mum's dog - it's weird but true that the approaching solstice has brought out the fluff) and you have a dog that's shaking the fat off herself and turning into a walking toast rack overnight.

So I bought her a coat. If I can't make her stay out of the wind, I'll keep the wind off her.

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What, you didn't really think I'd go for pink with stars did you?

* Topper could wear a cover for days and would be fine, then one day it'd flap just so and he'd freak the fuck out, go over the nearest fence and run off down the road, usually leaving bits of cover hanging on things in his wake. He destroyed five covers this way before I gave up and let him freeze. Luckily he didn't destroy himself.

** At the Warehouse there was a choice between silver with white faux-fur lined hood, or camo with pockets, like Urban Warrior Lady. At the place I got this one, she could have had a Where's Waldo look or been the Ice Princess. I would not inflict these on my dog. She may be old but she has some dignity - therefore she'll be a pirate.