April 21st, 2009

ohfuck

In my spam this morning

"BECOME THE CARNAL MONSTER!!!"

So naturally, I needed to know what a carnal monster was, so I could decide whether I wanted to be one. Enter Google - turns out the carnal monster is a path you can take in (cover your eyes fuvenusrs) Beowulf - The Game:

"Choose the path of carnal monster slayer, laying destruction upon your foes with no remorse!"

Which would be okay I guess, but I'm not sure it's an appropriate persona for between the sheets, if you know what I mean:

Them: *snuggles suggestively*
You: I shall now wreak destruction on you for I am the Carnal Monster! *beheads*

I mean, it's right up there with putting on your robe and wizard hat really - in fact it might be a bit beyond that. And I'm all for 'anything goes between consenting adults' - but.. well, please to not be becoming the Carnal Monster anywhere near me mmk? I wonder if they sell much product that way? Or the guys whose tagline is "Terrify her with your giant member!"

*cough*

This in lieu of any real content, mostly because I spent last night trying and failing to make my research into a graph. I've been called a polymath before, so I find it particularly ironic that one of my areas of Limited Ability is in the use of applications to make graphs. I couldn't even get Excel to put the years along the X axis. *cue derisive snorting from folks who were born knowing how to do this*

Anyway, luckily I Know People who were born knowing how to do this, so all is not lost. It did dampen my evening though, and I didn't make my table so I'm a bit behind schedule. I like to think of it as Thought Formulation Time. *nod*

And keptinacan, thank you for the suggestion re: my dog. You managed to articulate what I was trying to tell the guy on the phone, much better than I did. When/if I have to write the letter, that's the argument I'll be using.

Also, please can I have summer back now? Hooping indoors doesn't allow enough room for a decent jam.

PS Yesterday's xkcd cartoon cracked me the hell up. Not for the reason it cracked all the geeks up, but because it's exactly what happens when I count sheep furrealz, and so the same thing happens when I do it for sleeping. Only I call "tally" every hundred and use my fingers and toes to keep track.

You have to run them back through when you get to the end to be sure of your count