February 17th, 2009



Last night I studied.

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I am looking forward to my next course. Yes, I always say that, but in this case I've just completed two that have been mildly disappointing in different ways, and the next one is back to social policy (which I enjoyed last time), is titled Knowledge, Power and Understanding, and is delivered by the tutor I had for my first course, who I like and respect and who gave me A+ for my essays!

By the end of this year, I'll be ready for some time off. My fear is that if I give myself a break at all, I'll lose momentum and never go back*. However, the Dean of Humanities tells me that this summer's course may be of particular interest to me in my chosen field of study. Hmm. You know, at this point, having almost completed my first year studying broad topics at first/second year level, I feel as though I'm losing sight of why I'm doing this. Can someone please remind me? I have a passion - what was it again? And does academia by definition separate one from the things one gets excited about? And all you people who've got to postgrad level, do you ever get to go back to your passion? Surely all this DurkheimLombrosoSomeOtherForeignNameThatHasLittleToDoWithMyGoal, will lead me somewhere useful...

* This fear may stem from what happened the first time round.


Trent Reznor should suddenly go missing, don't worry - I'll take good care of him.

Also, reassessment from IRD increases CS potential payments to me by $200/month. This being the universe delivering the day after I did the Scary Budget that shows just how poor I was going to be over the next few months. Of course, it still has to be paid, but it made me go *phew* even if only in theory.

Finally, someone ran out of our meeting crying today. It's CONCRETE, people. Not worth getting het up over.

(I am working hard at not blaming myself for this last. Just because I am not upset by this issue, doesn't mean I should feel bad when other people are, right? Right?)

And, there is something intrinsically weird about Segways..