February 26th, 2008

happy

It's all a matter of degree, apparently.

Last night there was hooping, and I enjoyed it. I haven't done it for a while, because about a month prior to Kiwiburn I started to feel burnt out, and everything became a duty instead of a fun pastime. At Kiwiburn I realised that I don't have to be constantly busy, in fact that my constant busyness may have something to do with my seeming inability to develop real intimacy and closeness with people. So I stopped. After several weeks of doing nothing, things are looking like fun again. I just have to be careful to avoid overcommitting myself again.

Also, I managed to make my arms go in and out of the hoop with some form of coordination. I want it to look and feel easy. I also want to not bang my elbow into my wrist at every transition. *winces*

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First day of uni today. I have butterflies. I have a fancy composition book that Polly gave me for my notes. I have a map. I have offers of help and reassurance from people who've been where I am now. I have no idea what Social Policy in New Zealand - Values and Change actually means. I have trepidation at the walk (gallop) up that hill. Mostly, though, I have an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction that after all the planning and a 20 year hiatus, I'm finally DOING IT!

go me

This morning, I did something that was very hard, and made me feel very good about myself. Funny how the hard things often do that. I recommend it.