May 6th, 2007

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How to get your daily exercise

First, get up at 7:30 and go bellycrutch 80 ewes (yes, I know there were supposed to be 100 but 'the boys' are going to the works and don't need crutching).

Second, borrow a parachute off some friends. Make sure the parachute is full of playa dust (What, you don't have friends with a parachute? Get some!) Fill your bath with soapy water, add the parachute, jump up and down on it for 15 minutes. Rinse with vinegar, repeat. Twice.

Then take said wet parachute, which now weighs about the same as your average sheep, wrap it in a towel, cart downstairs and spread on your deck.

OMG parachutes are HUGE! Seriously. To dry a parachute, you need:

One large deck
A ladder
Some string
A pruning saw
A change of clothes
A touch of brute force and a large chunk of determination.
Some wind but not too much would be nice.

Hmm. Now I have the world's biggest floppy wet tent. I feel like it could do with some persian rugs and camels to make it really homey though.. or maybe some orchids.

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So it's not allowed to rain now, mmk?