April 21st, 2006

happy

"Let the silk settle"

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I love Ralph.

Meanwhile, my head is playing with the aikido 'empty vessel' concept - which is about the stripping away of ego and conscious thought, and becoming 'empty' to allow the innate knowledge of interaction on a physical, mental and spiritual plane (or ki if you're talking in those terms) to come through.

There's definitely something in this idea - something that's flitting around the edges of my mind, something to do with all the stuff that's happened lately and the loss of so many things that I considered to be important. About future-gazing (or rather - not future gazing).. instead allowing life to happen now.. something that's extremely difficult to formulate into words.

It's also difficult to do. Because it's about not doing. And not doing goes against the training of a lifetime to always be pursuing something, to make things better, to gain what is perceived to be 'missing'. A conscious effort to not seek and strive, if you will - to let go of the expectation that doing something to change things will be better than allowing things to change and going along for the ride. Surrender of the illusion of control, maybe?

See what I mean? Really, really hard to articulate. But.. there's something in it. I can see that, at least.

And you know, since I started mulling over this concept, life has suddenly got very very interesting.

OK, for those who prefer things to be a little less esoteric, Collapse )