March 21st, 2006


How to get oneself beaten up on a regular basis

Last night I was driving down *insert narrow windy steep Wellington street here* and I met someone coming up. Now, I know the law. I'm going down so I should reverse. The thing was, if Uphill-Guy reversed just 1m, there was a parking space right there that I could pull into to let him past. But no. Law is law, apparently, and he sat there refusing to budge, and I ended up reversing 100m up the hill to the next place where I could pull off. I resisted the urge to flip him the bird as he drove past. Big of me, you might say, but then, you weren't my passenger.

Anyway, that wee story leads me onto my next point. Not long ago, I was talking with someone about what we do when we run across stupid people. In this particular instance, it was someone who told me that clearly I was lazy because I don't believe in have a relationship with deity. My friend's projected reply to this person went something along the lines of "Hi, you're retarded, here's a sticker." Now, that got me thinking...

You know those stickers they give you at conferences? The ones that say "Hi! I'm ........" and leave a gap for putting your name in? The ones that I have to resist the urge to write 'here under duress' or 'somewhere else in my head' on? Yeah, those. I'd like to get some made that say "Hi! I'm retarded." Yes, yes, I know, very un-PC. But, you know, PC is so last year, insensitive is the new black and I'm being oh-so-very post modern these days. So, I get these stickers. Next time I meet someone like last night's car power-tripper, instead of reversing and fuming at the stupidity, I jump out, slap one of my stickers on his bonnet, then reverse.

I feel vindicated, he reads the sticker and thinks I'm talking about myself (stupid people, remember?), everyone's happy. Win-win. So, anyone know where I can get stickers made?

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I bouldered last night. Today I don't hurt. Progress! And, for a while at least, I flowed in the movement and time stopped. This is why I do it. Just saying.
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    Lhasa (I love her voice)


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And, I discovered that if you stand for half an hour with your arm held out at right angles from your body, you will quite likely pass out. Go on, try it.
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