December 28th, 2005

sheep

Not letting a good story get in the way of the truth, no...

So today I found out what it's like for people without a dog.

Arrived at job. One sheep in yard, peacefully chewing cud.* Takes one look at us, decides he doesn't like the look of us One Little Bit, rams the gate which resists with true lifestyle fervour by falling over. Sheep makes hasty bid for freedom. At this point Tommy discovers that Mum actually has potty mouth as Mum prays to a god called Fuck to send First down in a lightning bolt pronto. Like all gods, Fuck isn't listening because Fuck doesn't really exist. But I digress.

We follow at a respectful distance, rope in hand. Sheep moseys off around the (5 acre, bush clad) section, then nonchalantly trots out of the driveway and down the road towards town. Cue Mum and Tommy to go get the mechanical working dog car. We successfully head the sheep about 500m down the road, turn it and chase it back towards home, barking out the windows in true imitation huntaway fashion.

Sheep, who is by now panting furiously with tongue hanging out (which I believe was a futile attempt to elicit pity), decides to pay a visit to the neighbours, who have, at least, a gate on their driveway. They also have a pond and a tidy landscaped section with lots of bark gardens and other things that don't stand up all that well to being galloped over by a 70kg wether-o-panicky-doom. Anyway, 3 laps of the garden later we had him cornered by the gate. He tried to squash Tommy. At this point I decided enough was enough and all the maternal protective hormones surged. Needless to say, after a brief scuffle, the dust settled to reveal me sitting on top of the sheep, who was laying in a resigned fashion on the ground with a noose on his neck.

I resisted the urge to garrot him and instead gave him a crash course in "When I pull on the rope you follow or choke," which made it possible to lead him up to my car and put him in. Quick whizz round to where we started from, unload, start machine, 5 minutes later the job is done. *sigh*

*Owner is away on holiday, hence the lack of assistance from her. On the upside, nobody was home at the neighbours either so there were no witnesses to this little debacle in which I came out looking oh-so-professional-and-polished. Also, the money was double what I asked, with a note saying "Thought this was fairer." *mutter*ifonlyyouknewlady*mutter*

Also Lhizz, this is your fleece. It was so beautiful I had to keep it separate from the rest.

Finally Note To Self: Figure out a way to fit First in the car with all the other stuff.. *sigh* Anyone want to sell me a good cheap trailer?