October 25th, 2005


Can you dance? Is it because of your race? And who cares anyway?

Lately I've noticed stovepipes making a comeback. Only these aren't your run-of-the-mill straight leg stovepipes, oh no. These are tapered stovepipes. On men. And yes, for those of you who haven't seen them, that looks as silly as you think it does. Especially considering the average kiwi man has no butt and chicken legs. So the tightness around the lower leg makes the pants gradually creep downwards, and with no butt to stop them we have a twisted version of the fashion from a few years ago of guys wearing their pants below their butt with the crotch somewhere around the knees. Only the pants are tight. I have yet to see someone on whom this looks good.

Also, the waistbands on ladies jeans are going up while the legs are creeping in. If this trend follows the men there's gonna be a repeat of that unsightly fashion from the 80's where your jeans had to be so tight you couldn't breathe, regardless of the shape of your body. Help me, my past is coming back to slap me in the face! How awful I looked when I thought I looked hot.. I didn't realise and I don't expect this generation to either. I just grin to myself knowingly when I see a young woman walking funny because her jeans are cutting into all the wrong places. Maybe it's time to revive the 'Rate my Camel-Toe' website..

In other news, I saw Rize. Manymany hot bodies, oh yes. Very unusual dancing style. Worth seeing. You know that thing about white people having no rhythm? I call bollocks. I think the main reason white people have trouble dancing is because we are too self-conscious and because we're not encouraged as kids. This movie had black four-year-olds learning 'the moves' and joining in the grown-ups' dance sessions. Meanwhile what are the white people doing? Playing damn ring-a-rosie. And teasing anyone who expresses themselves differently till they don't want to do it any more.

I know a guy. He's one of the best dancers I know. He's been asked to leave nightclubs because of his 'style' of dancing being a bit - enthusiastic. He doesn't care. He's still one of the best dancers I know. His rhythm is no better or worse than anyone else's.. he just.does.not.care. He enjoys it so he's done it a lot so he's good at it. End of story.

I'm guilty of it. Sometimes I just feel too self-conscious to dance. Shame on me. Luckily, it gets less as I get older. Sadly, for some reason it's less socially acceptable to be in a nightclub if you're over 30. Too fucking bad. I'm gonna go anyway. Heard of Kraftwerk, Bubs? No? OK, well take your uneducated ass in those too-tight stovepipes out of my dance space..

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