May 20th, 2005

happy

Fire Water

I don't drink. Well, not very often. Hence, I'm a cheap date, and was also once known as Wendy the One-Can Wonder. But anyway, it's odd the things people say to you when you say you don't drink. I've been asked if it's because of religion, health reasons, because I'm a recovering alcoholic, and once, if it's because my husband beats me up when he's drunk (?). OK, I actually had a husband at the time, but WTF?

The simple answer is, I don't like the taste of alcohol. It's burny and sharp and not very pleasant. And I'm sure I'm not alone, judging by the faces people pull when they swallow absinthe, tequila or chartreuse. I decided this when I was a kid (my folks were the liberated sort who let us drink if we wanted to), and I haven't changed my taste as I've got older. Although, I do like spinach now, and I'm working on olives.

When I do drink, it's because I want to get drunk, and I'm almost forcing it down past my taste buds in order to get the effect. I figure if I'm thirsty, I'll drink something that tastes nice, like water or pineapple juice. And it cracks me up that people assume you have some high moral virtuous reason for not drinking. I mean, having been a non-drinker most of my life, yes I've observed alcohol transforming nice people into losers and thought 'Ew'. But, most people just enjoy having a good time with it, and drunken idiots are easy to avoid when it does happen. So yeah, no big morals or non-alcoholic high horse here.

But, does anyone actually like the taste, or is it just a willingness to tolerate it because of desire for the effects? Can you desensitise yourself to the taste by starting with something mild and working your way up? And yes, you can so taste vodka.

Oh, and, Mr Gates, I would like you to add a function to Word that makes it so when you leave the capslock on and your entire document is the wrong way round, you can hit one key and have it restored to normality. Plzthxbye. ;-)