March 9th, 2004


On spooning

Blatantly plagiarised from the pages of Cosmo...

"One negotiation point when you start sleeping with someone on a regular basis is spooning. To put it simply, women almost always want to spoon, whereas most men are only spooning because they are hoping it might lead to a fork.

But of course women love spooning, why wouldn’t they? In 95 percent of cases they get to be front spoon, and front spoon rocks. There is nothing better than front spoon – well except for middle spoon but that’s a whole different story – gently falling asleep with your lover’s arm draped around you and the warmth of their body against you. Awww, front spoon!

Back spoon, however, is shithouse. For starters, you’ve got that aarm you just don’t know what the hell to do with, so you spend half the night trying to come up with a comfortable position for it. It’s no coincidence that there are over 1000 different sexual positions in the Kama Sutra and yet no one of them deals with what everyone would really love to know: a comfy way to spoon from behind.

Most times what actually happens is you end up sleeping on the arm which means in the middle of the night you wake up with someone’s hand on your genitals, but you’re not sure whether it’s yours or your partner’s.

The truth is human bodies are not really designed to spoon. I’m ashamed to admit it but, as much as I felt sorry for that brave hiker in the news recently, the one who had to cut off his own arm to save his life, there was a small part of me that couldn’t help but think that he was going to be able to spoon comfortably for the rest of his life."

Heh, -that- started my day with a smile….