January 1st, 2004

happy

Attmepted revelry

Well, last night was the 7th anniversary of one of the best things I ever did for myself, and I set out determined to make the most of it since I haven't celebrated for such a long time.

Started off well with a climb at Baring Head (beautiful, lovely, other superlatives that just don't even come close).. not one of my better days, focusing on getting over my fear of heights (no ropes here) and finding out how being scared can make me climb like an epileptic jellyfish. Backed off, fell off, freaked out and ended up doing a baby climb just so I could make it to the top of something. But what a beautiful evening.

Back into town, great intentions of copious alcohol, being sociable and participating in random revelry. And here's where the plan comes a little unravelled...

Just lately I have been learning something about energy and receiving some healing from a (very understanding) friend, and last night was the night when all the evil stuff from the past decided to rear its ugly head and come spewing out in a cascade of vitriolic horribleness. Yeah. Timing. Anyway, I ended up being unsociable and trying really hard to alienate one of my closest friends (sorry man), drinking more beer than I should've, and rung in the New Year red-eyed and puffy in the bathtub.

Upside, since it's a new year, maybe it was timed right, because -this- year is the year when all that stuff doesn't matter anymore. It comes out in nasty ways, but then it's gone. And good riddance.. here's to small steps forward and understanding, thick-skinned friends (you know who you are and your support means -so- much to me)...

And so this morning I smiled and said hi to everyone I saw, and a really nice old man cleaning windows gave me the most brilliant smile back, restoring my faith in the basic niceness of strangers, and oh what a beautiful day. I got my wish - summer is here.

So my NY resolutions.. spend more time with old people, they are just so cool and so wise... let go of unnecessary stuff.. and conquer the fear at the Head.

Happy New Year everybody!
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