tatjna (tatjna) wrote,

Is this a private malaise or can anyone join in?

Hmm. My email's not working again. This time the error message is " ". That's right, completely blank. Server replied: ...

*sigh* So I can receive email but not send. How very useful.

Today I was rescued from waiting for the (late) bus in the rain by catteeya. Yay for her! And yay for approaching long weekends. I actually turned down a luxurious trip away this weekend in favour of a quiet one of hanging out with people I care about and sleeping in.

Little voice: What? Are you mad?
Me: No, just broke. Shut up.

I'm going deaf.

I used to get horrendous earaches. They took my adenoids out when I was about 8 but prior to that there were ear infections on a regular basis for about 5 years. As a result of this, both my ears have slight hearing loss, but the left one is worse.

Add to that years of working in noisy environments and a predisposition to buildup and blockages from colds, and it's not a bright outlook. I have trouble hearing what people are saying if there's any background noise at all, and if someone talks fast, or mumbles a bit, I sometimes have to get them to repeat themselves three or four times before I understand what they are saying. I hate it. It's annoying for them and I feel like there's something wrong with me for not 'getting it' the first time. It's not that I'm not listening, I can't hear you.

And that scares the crap out of me. I'm only 35, what happens when I'm 40? 50? Will I be completely deaf? Should I start learning sign language now?

No seriously, I'm freaking out. It just happened again. I don't want to be deaf.

This has been a week of strangeness. I started the week feeling concerned for People and my concern has only deepened and broadened as the week's gone by. I think everyone needs this holiday. I know I do. Being a translator and debugger and mediator and resident expert geek all at the same time has been all too much this week, and my brain is a quivering pile of mush that just wants to doze off while staring at some inane website and drooling.

And I want to eat Bad Things.
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