In other news, my Secret Santa book is "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown, a thriller involving the Illuminati and the Catholic church. It's one I haven't read so now I've got highly recommended fiction, along with two other books.
Quote from "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories":
Her screams were heard by a passing woodcutter-person (or log-fuel technician,as he preferred to be called). When he burst into the cottage, he saw the melee and tried to intervene. But as he raised his axe, Red Riding Hood and the wolf both stopped.
"And just what do you think you're doing?" asked Red Riding Hood. The woodcutter-person blinked and tried to answer, but no words came to him.
"Bursting in here like a Neanderthal, trusting your weapon to do your thinking for you!" she exclaimed. "Sexist! Speciesist! How dare you assume that women and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man's help?"
When she heard Red Riding Hood's impassioned speech, Grandma jumped out of the wolf's mouth, seized the woodcutter-person's axe, and cut his head off. After this ordeal, Red Riding Hood, Grandma and the wolf felt a certain commonality of purpose. They decided to set up an alternative household based on mutual respect and cooperation, and they lived together in the woods happily ever after.
Have a good day, everyone! *waves*