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nHelf - Tactical Ninja

Nov. 14th, 2014

09:53 am - nHelf

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You'll be pleased to know that Dr Wheel doesn't have ebola.

For those not in the loop, he just got back from Bali and came down with a fever and associated upleasantness, to the point where yesterday morning I was on the phone to the after hours medical clinic to see if we should dump him in a bucket of ice or quarantine him on and island or something. Instead the advice was:

"You have called the after hours medical clinic after hours. We open at 8am." Which is the same time the normal-hours medical clinic opens.

So.Helpful.

So anyway, yesterday I was all ready to dash off to emergency or battle tropical viruses with Cullen's sword and shield, and we discussed the option of having an ice pick ready in case he turned into a zombie. Luckily, none of these interventions ended up being necessary and by last night he'd stopped radiating like Fukushima 3 and was coloured less like a beetroot and more like a normal Wheel. And he's not bleeding from his eyeballs, so that's good. Crisis averted.

Meanwhile, my friend who accidentally covered herself in pouron cattle drench reports that her coat is shiny, her tail is nice and clean, and she's stopped scooting her bum across the carpet.

Clearly things are looking up.

Comments:

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From:ms_hecubus
Date:November 13th, 2014 09:51 pm (UTC)
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Ebola would be a small price to pay for some time in Bali - she says as the first snow of the season falls outside the windiw.
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From:tatjna
Date:November 13th, 2014 09:52 pm (UTC)
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I didn't get to go to Bali, but I got to experience the climate by sharing a room with a feverish Dr Wheel for a couple of days!
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From:jaelle_n_gilla
Date:November 13th, 2014 10:07 pm (UTC)
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Use him as a free heating device? I guess not since it's starting to get warm in your neck of the woods, isn't it? We could use him here and save some fuel.
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From:ms_hecubus
Date:November 14th, 2014 03:42 pm (UTC)
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That's a glass half full kinda outlook!
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From:jaelle_n_gilla
Date:November 13th, 2014 10:06 pm (UTC)
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I am really glad Dr. Wheel doesn't have ebola and you didn't need the ice pick. What's that stuff that makes the coat shiny?
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From:tatjna
Date:November 13th, 2014 10:09 pm (UTC)
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Generic pouron cattle drench. Not sure which brand. She made the mistake of putting it on before docking her calves, and ended up getting it all over herself.
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From:jaelle_n_gilla
Date:November 13th, 2014 10:15 pm (UTC)
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Is that like an anti-flea wash or something? Sounds hilarious - if you aren't her *g*
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From:tatjna
Date:November 13th, 2014 10:17 pm (UTC)
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Kind of, it's the same kind of deal as that stuff you put on a cat's neck, but with cows there's more of it and you put it all down their back because they can't lick themselves.

She actually went to hospital with it because it can give you liver damage, but luckily she's ok.
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From:jaelle_n_gilla
Date:November 13th, 2014 10:26 pm (UTC)
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Oh dear, yes, that Frontline stuff for cats is pretty much a nerve poison. Glad she's ok.
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From:ecosopher
Date:November 13th, 2014 11:03 pm (UTC)
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What a useful after hours clinic! Our helpline is all hours, but they are basically just as stupid. They either tell you there's nothing to worry about ('wheezing? I can't hear him wheezing' Meanwhile S couldn't say a full sentence without stopping to catch his breath) or telling you you need to GET TO HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY OMG YOUR CHILD IS GOING TO DIE. Sigh. But it's good to hear that Dr Wheel does not have ebola.

she's stopped scooting her bum across the carpet.
I will have to keep drench in mind for when that becomes a problem. Good tip!



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From:pickleboot
Date:November 13th, 2014 11:31 pm (UTC)
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the image of a cow dragging it's ass on the carpet set me laughing so hard the bird joined in, so then i had to explain, and then keir said no, no cows when we move, you don't get to practice all you learned years ago. he's absolutely no fun.

but i am glad that your friend is ok- i remember having to be very careful when we dipped cattle. the rule was clip, dock, dip for the boys, dock, dip for the girls. i spent several summers on a black angus farm in west virginia- it's where my childhood border collie, inga, liver and white, blue eyes, white face, was bred. their dogs are amazing and i would love one if we end up with the "farm" we are looking at. no cows, just sheep, alpacas, llamas, and a donkey. fun, right?

my dad is off to hong kong and is stopping over in africa, not sure where, and now my mom is freaking out about lassa fever, not so much ebola. now when i go to the doctor i have to fill out extensive paperwork because dad had just been in africa before we saw him, and i am not out of the 45 day period and have a bad immune system. fun times. i wonder when we will require space suits to travel.
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From:spiral_meter
Date:November 14th, 2014 12:01 am (UTC)
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that's good cuz ebola is bad news bears.

b
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From:tatjna
Date:November 14th, 2014 01:40 am (UTC)
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You should move to NZ and become a shepherd. Then you can hike around them all day, with bonus sheep and dogs!
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From:spiral_meter
Date:November 14th, 2014 02:05 am (UTC)
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i'm down.

b
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From:warriorsavant
Date:November 14th, 2014 01:30 am (UTC)
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1. Ebola not endemic to Bali
2. Flamethrowers better for zombies.
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From:tatjna
Date:November 14th, 2014 01:36 am (UTC)
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1. No shit sherlock.
2. Not when you're just dealing to a recently-dead person before they turn, in your bedroom.
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From:warriorsavant
Date:November 14th, 2014 02:18 am (UTC)
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You're depending on very precise timing with an icepick. You'd have to realize they were dead, realize they were turning, get the icepick, and use it before they could start to move, hitting a very precise spot. This whole "zombies only shuffle slowly" thing is a myth, they can be quite fast. A flamethrower might burn down the whole bedroom and house, but it is very sure. I always keep one by the bedside just in case.
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From:tatjna
Date:November 14th, 2014 02:31 am (UTC)
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In Walking Dead you have between 5 and 10 minutes to a) sob, b) monologue to the dead, then c) spike through the temple.

Of course, the logistics of sticking a short blade through someone's temple require the suspension of some disbelief, but hey.

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From:warriorsavant
Date:November 14th, 2014 02:33 am (UTC)
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Yes, but that's on TV. In real life, doesn't work that way.

For reference, I use US Army Field Manual 666-1 "Tactical Operations Against the Undead." I have found it highly accurate.

As for getting a flamethrower, that's a bit trickier, but I think Amazon sometimes runs specials.
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From:tatjna
Date:November 14th, 2014 02:43 am (UTC)
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I can probably build my own, but realistically I'm a lot handier with a sharpened screwdriver than most newly-hatched zombies might expect.
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From:warriorsavant
Date:November 14th, 2014 11:07 am (UTC)
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I have great faith in your manual dexterity, having seen some of your costumes, not to mention all that acro (sore butt and all). However, you have to realize that that would be the zombie of the then-late Dr. Wheel, who would know your capabilities also and be prepared for them. True, possibly his undying love (or would that be un-undying love?) might stay his hand, but you know zombies, just can't count on that. In tight situations, I really recommend a bit of overkill (or perhaps over-un-kill), which is where the flamethrower comes in.
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From:meathiel
Date:November 14th, 2014 08:15 am (UTC)
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All hours clinic opens at 8 ... definitely very helpful!
Glad to hear Dr Wheel is doing better ...
And your friend as well!
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From:plantgirl
Date:November 14th, 2014 09:07 pm (UTC)
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I'm pleased to hear that Dr. Wheel does not have ebola. For future reference, with adults it's time to worry when their fever is over ~39°C.

I need a shiny coat. Do you recommend the cattle drench as a way to make that happen? Only I"m not sure I'm willing to give up scooting my bum. It's so much fun!
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From:brynhilda
Date:November 15th, 2014 08:37 am (UTC)
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Oh my, reading this just cracked me up :).

The cattle drench was most probably an avermectin, wasn't it?
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From:fbhjr
Date:November 15th, 2014 02:33 pm (UTC)
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I hope he's better soon!
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From:raincitygirl
Date:November 15th, 2014 06:02 pm (UTC)
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I am very glad to hear Dr Wheel doesn't have Ebola. Pouron cattle drench is evidently powerful stuff.
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From:fushia_darkness
Date:November 16th, 2014 07:18 pm (UTC)
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Oh dear, good thing the ice pick didn't have to be involved in the solution of the drama!
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