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In which I join a harem, albeit briefly - Tactical Ninja

Sep. 3rd, 2014

08:51 am - In which I join a harem, albeit briefly

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So the doctor is sending me back to the osteopath. She reckons my iliac crests are lopsided and that I have an overdeveloped muscle on the right hand side of my back underneath my ribcage, and wants me to get a full postural assessment. Basically, I may have one leg longer than the other. Which makes me go "Ok, but how come it only started to hurt last year?"

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit like a ping pong ball with all this bouncing back and forth, but it does feel better to be doing something than not. And now I have steroid cream for what she says is eczema (again, wtf?) and some 'fatty emulsion' - yes it's really called that - for my hands, which are apparently super dry. I'm supposed to rub it on and it will... do something good for my skin? I will not be doing this immediately before acro.


Yesterday I received a notification in my inbox that I'd been added to a group on Facebook. The group was called "*'s Angels" - where * means [name redacted] cos I've no interest in identifying the person.

I was somewhat taken aback by this. Normally you get invited to a group and then you decide whether or not to join. Or you ask to join. To be just added made me feel kind of weird. Who would think I want to be in a group so much that they'd just add me with no consultation? Especially a group of Angels?

So I went and had a look, and discovered this blurb:

"This is a pointless Tribe created in the spirit of personal Pride and Ego that is purely Sexist with the intent of corralling all the wonderful and beautiful Women that I secretly or not so secretly Love and/or Lust after. By joining you are officially a part of *'s Harem. There is absolutely no purpose to join except to feed my Ego and waste time. Feel free to be offended, but know this...this is Invite Only and YOU made the cut...along with 340 other Hot Chicks!!!

* hearts Ya'll with some Big Love"


Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little.

I know that some people would probably be flattered to be included with 340 other Hot Chicks who made the cut for this guy's Harem. I am not one of them. I'm quite big on consent for a start, and quite small on being selected like some fruit from a tree and arbitrarily chucked in with a bunch of women I don't know, with whom the only thing I have in common is that this dude gets a boner over us.



I couldn't hit "Leave this group and don't let anyone add me back and stop all notifications and kill it with fire" fast enough. And then I messaged the guy going "No offence, but I'm not into the whole harem deal." To which he responded "No worries. I like to engage folk. Sometimes my quirky sense of humor goes over the top for some."

So he thinks it's just a bit of fun, and I know from interacting with him once or twice before that he's relatively harmless. But I do wonder if he gets how icky and creepy it comes across when he adds someone to his self-confessed Sexist Harem without their consent just because he thinks they're hot. I appreciated his non-pushy response to my rejection, but he's gone down in my estimation now and it's gonna take a while before the first thought on seeing his name isn't "Ew."

And just between you and me, I'm embarrassed to admit that there was a small part of me that considered not quitting, not messaging my rejection, because I didn't want to offend. Luckily, my brain overcame my lifetime of training to 'be nice' and I realised that actually, what he'd done was disrespectful and you don't have to 'be nice' to people who disrespect you.

Bloody hell.


In other news, over the last few days I've been having a lightbulb moment, or series of moments, in which I've realised that if I can create replicas of other people's costume designs, I can also create replicas of my own. Like, everything I make is from pictures, right? I can look at something and work out how it's engineered, and then make it. I've been known to learn specific techniques just so I can make a particular thing, and I now have quite the repertoire of skills. So, if I can learn to make the pictures myself, I'm pretty much guaranteed to be able to make the ideas into reality.

Why did this not occur to me before?

Comments:

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From:siduri
Date:September 2nd, 2014 09:04 pm (UTC)
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So. Damn. Weird. People really are.

Wow, hope the figure out what is wrong.
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From:tatjna
Date:September 2nd, 2014 09:14 pm (UTC)
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I have this gut feeling that whatever they find, it's going to result in me having to do a whole lot of hard exercises.

*meep*
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From:siobhan63
Date:September 2nd, 2014 09:35 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, that whole being added to a group without your consent is just one of the many reasons why I ditched FB. There was even an incident in one of our provincial legislatures not that long ago where one of the MLAs found herself added to a group set up calling for the death of the Premier of the province. This was raised as a matter of privilege by another MLA and the Speaker asked the MLA in question to apologize for being a member of said group. She refused, insisting that she hadn't actually joined the group herself, etc. So the Speaker expelled her for a few days for refusing to apologize. Then someone explained to him how FB works and HE ended up apologizing to her.
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From:tatjna
Date:September 2nd, 2014 09:37 pm (UTC)
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Wow, that's a bit special. I admit I didn't know that people could just add you like that until yesterday - me only having joined FB earlier this year.

I'm still finding it amusing enough to stick with it, but now I can find the 'OH HELL NO' button (in Finnish), I'm a lot happier.
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From:bekitty
Date:September 2nd, 2014 10:19 pm (UTC)
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Is the hand cream you were given called HealthE? That's the stuff B was given for his eczema. Apparently, it's not bad, but anhydrous lanolin works better.

I got invited to join a group on LJ yesterday. I took a look, and it was all in Cyrillic, so I tried to find a way to say "no thank you" and block it. Turns out you can't. :-/

I ended up just deleting the invite.
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From:tatjna
Date:September 2nd, 2014 10:24 pm (UTC)
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It wasn't that anon car one was it? I got an invite to one like that too, took one look, and went "Nope."

I get a few invited to cyrillic groups. Probably because of my username.

Can't remember the name of the hand cream, but it wasn't that. She deliberately avoided anything that wouldn't rub in, because of my activities.
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From:bekitty
Date:September 2nd, 2014 10:47 pm (UTC)
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I think so? It was called 2101_anon or something.

Yeah, HealthE is paraffin-based with added vitamin E, so it's more than a bit slippery.
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From:tatjna
Date:September 3rd, 2014 12:13 am (UTC)
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Yep, that's the one.
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From:ecosopher
Date:September 3rd, 2014 05:02 am (UTC)
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I just got invited to that one too! Man, and here I was, thinking I was special (don't worry, I didn't accept the invite... I didn't even go to the page :D )
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From:ms_hecubus
Date:September 3rd, 2014 04:52 pm (UTC)
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Me too. I wonder if he just invited everyone on all of LJ.
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From:adam_0oo
Date:September 5th, 2014 09:04 pm (UTC)
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I also got invited to the Anon Car group. I don't want people knowing I like cars, so it was a must stay for me.
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From:fbhjr
Date:September 2nd, 2014 11:29 pm (UTC)
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Wow. That's...
Yeah. I don't have a word for what that is. But, I certainly don't blame you for not wanting to be a part of it.

The costumes you've posted about here seem really great. So, I don't think there should be any doubt about your skills.

Finally, what happened to the poor little badger after he fell? Is he OK?
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From:tatjna
Date:September 2nd, 2014 11:31 pm (UTC)
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Maybe he ended up in mushroom heaven?

(i actually don't know)

I have decided that what I need is somewhere to start drawing these ideas, because I often have a list in my head but they tend to disappear if I don't get on them straight away. A record to refer to might be a good idea.
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From:fbhjr
Date:September 2nd, 2014 11:34 pm (UTC)
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That makes sense. Creative ideas don't always come at a good time to use them. So, a record of them could be very useful.
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From:plantgirl
Date:September 3rd, 2014 10:14 pm (UTC)
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I loved the gif, but now I am glaring at you for putting the Badger Song in my head. I am tired enough it will be stuck there for ages. >:(

A spiral bound blank notebook is a dandy place to jot down ideas. I think you will be awesome at designing your own stuff. :)

Edited at 2014-09-03 10:15 pm (UTC)
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From:richaarde
Date:September 2nd, 2014 11:36 pm (UTC)
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Basically, I may have one leg longer than the other.

Frank Zappa's "Dancin' Fool" came to mind.

* (from *'s Angels) seems like a real winner. Maybe if he wasn't such a skeeze, he wouldn't have to fantasize because he could have the real thing. Eww.
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From:tatjna
Date:September 2nd, 2014 11:36 pm (UTC)
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Hahaha, as long as I dance in a circle, or on a slope. ;-)
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From:du_secondaire
Date:September 3rd, 2014 12:06 am (UTC)
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Oh, that is sooooooo gross and creepy. What ever happened to asking?

And a secondary point: who made this asshole the authority on what's attractive or not?

And really, I think I'm going to go stare at the wall for the next 45 minutes.
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From:tatjna
Date:September 3rd, 2014 12:10 am (UTC)
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Yeah, that's what creeped me out. Dude, I really did NOT need to know that I give you a hardon. Seriously.
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From:morbid_curious
Date:September 3rd, 2014 12:48 am (UTC)
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I'm on the side of the badgers.
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From:tatjna
Date:September 3rd, 2014 01:02 am (UTC)
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As we all knew you would be.
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From:pombagira
Date:September 3rd, 2014 12:57 am (UTC)

on a complete unrelated note

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i am at home with a cold :( so i am cutting out fabric hands.. yay

#causeitisallaboutme

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From:tatjna
Date:September 3rd, 2014 01:02 am (UTC)

Re: on a complete unrelated note

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I hear it's going around...
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From:pombagira
Date:September 3rd, 2014 01:27 am (UTC)

Re: on a complete unrelated note

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yeah even with the good drugs it is kinda shitty.. hopefully i will be all good to go to work tomorrow.. :D
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From:ferrouswheel
Date:September 3rd, 2014 01:34 am (UTC)
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You're in my group, but I'm not going to share that on facebook.
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From:tatjna
Date:September 3rd, 2014 01:38 am (UTC)
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It's ok, you're in mine too.

Should we get his 'n' hers harem clothing?

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From:ecosopher
Date:September 3rd, 2014 05:06 am (UTC)
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Should we get his 'n' hers harem clothing?

There's your next project, then! :)

I hope they can figure out what's wrong and you can stop with all the doctors' visits. Ugh.
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From:dreadbeard
Date:September 3rd, 2014 05:23 am (UTC)
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Make your own dreams...
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From:meathiel
Date:September 3rd, 2014 07:07 am (UTC)
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Because you get older??? Hehe ... just sayin'!
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From:jaelle_n_gilla
Date:September 3rd, 2014 07:38 am (UTC)
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Sorry the docs are still bouncing you around with the trial-and-error approach. How frustrating. I guess slippery hands in acro are probably fun, eh? "I got you - I got you - ooops"

This FB thing of just adding people is so weird. I've been added to several groups I never wanted but never this bad. Yuck!!! Yes, his humor would go right over my head as well. And I have a *very* strange humor usually...

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From:goddessofchaos
Date:September 3rd, 2014 01:35 pm (UTC)
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I hope you get your back issues sorted out. It's super frustrating when you get bounced from pillar to post with no answers.

I don't know if FB have changed their options but I always get added to groups, rather than invited, these days. I had one person add me to about 12 different groups she runs, most of which were of no interest at all, and had to go and remove myself from all of them. None were as horribly creepy as that harem thing though, that's... pretty gross, actually, no matter how he reacted to you leaving.
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From:kotturinn
Date:September 3rd, 2014 02:29 pm (UTC)
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Ah, legs. /me is not going to be very positively helpful here... Is possibly known as un unexpected side effect of getting older. I have one leg measurably (but not really visually) longer than the other. It's only the last decade or so that it's really started to screw things up at times (in a different way from my original back problem). Clearly the skelington it can only take so much warpage :-(
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From:thesecondcircle
Date:September 3rd, 2014 04:45 pm (UTC)
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I think there's a natural progression when you acquire a new skill. First you learn technique and follow patterns and then, at some point, a lot of people have this moment where they go "oh yeah, I could make my own pattern too!" Now I think some people don't to this and are perfectly happy to follow patterns always (I know a lot of knitters like this) while others decide they always want to do their own thing or change things up, even if their skills aren't so developed and they have a higher chance of failure (which totally describes me).

On a side note, how you reacted to this guy and his group is how I react to FaceBook in general -- ewwww! After the revelation that they were allowing unethical emotional manipulation for "research purposes" I had to let it go.
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From:plantgirl
Date:September 3rd, 2014 10:15 pm (UTC)
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My sympathies for having to bounce between doctors. I'm doing a fair bit of that trying to get various diagnoses. It can be frustrating.
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From:kehleyr
Date:September 4th, 2014 10:11 pm (UTC)
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Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little. Um I would throw up too! *sighs*
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From:pundigrion
Date:September 5th, 2014 01:15 am (UTC)
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Wait, there were still ways for Facebook to get even creepier?!
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From:tatjna
Date:September 5th, 2014 03:38 am (UTC)
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There are always new ways...
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