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Tactical Ninja - In which I'm silly about my body

Jan. 30th, 2014

09:23 am - In which I'm silly about my body

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So apparently Kiwiburn took 2kg out of me. This is a) surprising given how much peeled salami I ate, and b) probably a good thing from the perspective of my adagio base.


I currently weigh 60kg. By most people's standards that's pretty lightweight. For me, it's a bit on the heavy side of normal. Normal for me is 58, I could probably maintain 56 for a short while if I had to, but that may not be healthy.

The thing is, most of the other women who do adagio around here are teeny-tiny. In fact, it's a thing in circus in general, that many of the women are on the small size, both height and build wise. It makes sense, since much circus stuff involves either yourself or someone else flinging your body around, lifting it and balancing on one finger and the like. So being small-but-strong is a thing. It's slightly different for men because they tend to have a stronger power-to-weight ratio anyway, but they still tend towards the wiry. But yeah, lots of tiny, strong women.

And then there's me and my 60kg. To put it in perspective, one of the ladies in our class is known as The Halfling. She's about 5'1" and weighs about 40kg. I'm serious. There's nothing to her. And she's been doing gymnastics since she was knee high to a grasshopper. She's the one that gets used for all the demos, especially with less experienced bases.

And while I know that nobody's doing it deliberately, adding another 20kg to the load after lifting The Halfling, can cause involuntary grunting in one's base. Which makes one feel a bit of a lump. Add to that, that I'm probably the heaviest flyer in the class, and a girl could be forgiven for feeling a bit .. sensitive? Paranoid? Something, anyway.. about her weight. Especially if she's been hitting the ice cream a bit and added a couple of extra kilos.

Then there's the age-old thing of handbalancing, where my elbows hyperextend and putting all my weight on them in that position makes them hurt. And lifting my own bodyweight being easier the less it is.

Etc.

So yeah, having a couple of kilos mysteriously melt away just before the start of the next adagio term is an unexpected bonus. I'm never going to be a 40kg pixie. I'm more of the Lightweight-Amazon type. But I'd rather my base can bench press me than not. And I'd rather when he did, that I wasn't painfully aware of a) being too heavy and b) wobbly bits in tight costumes. Also, I don't like feeling blobby, so yay for that too.


On a different note:


Ruggedly handsome. Dangerous to know. Yep.
Photo by alphamatrix

Comments:

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From:dreadbeard
Date:January 29th, 2014 11:05 pm (UTC)
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Kiwiburn is definitely a fat-burning exercise program :) Run around and dance a lot and forget to eat unless you really need it cos you too busy doing fun stuff.
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From:tatjna
Date:January 29th, 2014 11:07 pm (UTC)
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And even going to the loo can end up being a two-hour, fast-heartbeat excursion!
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From:ferrouswheel
Date:January 30th, 2014 07:46 pm (UTC)
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Yup - I also came back a consistent 3 kg lighter. I wasn't even that active this year, but I was a lot more active than the day to day of working at a computer desk. Must randomly dance and do more random building of things.
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From:tatjna
Date:January 30th, 2014 07:47 pm (UTC)
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You with power tools = hot.

Just saying.
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From:dreadbeard
Date:January 29th, 2014 11:10 pm (UTC)
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And yeah, it is frustratingly easy to feel weird about one's body. Personally I have found shifting the focus from say "what I look like with my shirt off" to "what my body can do" helps a lot, as the latter consistently improves with things I am doing and can control, whereas the former fluctuates in what seems a less controlled fashion.
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From:tatjna
Date:January 29th, 2014 11:13 pm (UTC)
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Yeah. I'm in a weird place there, too. My body can do lots of amazing things, but I'm constantly striving to do even more amazing things, and now I'm running up against the fact that doing some things to the excess that I feel I should do them in order to improve, actually leads to injury. I'm trying to find a balance between overdoing it and the things I want to be able to do, and my frustration with that was one of the things that led to ice cream.

All paths eventually lead to ice cream. ;-)

But, I do have little achievements even if the major ones still seem well out of my grasp. I can pancake regularly without wrecking my ability to walk now.. ;-)
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From:ecosopher
Date:January 30th, 2014 12:39 am (UTC)
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60 is my goal at the moment (I'm around 65 right now). I used to be about 58, and that was good, too. Any less than that, and I'm a bit of a weakling. I just don't have the energy to move myself around. I like that you managed to drop a couple of kilos without having to think about it, though :)

Kiwiburn sounds great. I love those monster suits. Did you find a video of the brainfart yet?
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From:tatjna
Date:January 30th, 2014 07:40 pm (UTC)
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Not yet. I have another opportunity to give it an outing next month, and this time I'll specifically ask someone to get a video of it. Still hoping one will show up, though. ;-)
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From:kehleyr
Date:January 30th, 2014 10:22 am (UTC)
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Kiwiburn?
Congrats in losing the weight then :-)
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From:tatjna
Date:January 30th, 2014 07:43 pm (UTC)
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Kiwiburn is New Zealand's regional Burning Man event. We like to call that one the American Kiwiburn. It's hard to describe but I see it as a mashing together of art, music, and culture with a dash of sparkly unicorns. It tends to attract people who like to do cool stuff and share it. You know, people who would do it anyway, but appreciate the opportunity to showcase their particular brand of geekery in public.

So you end up with a conglomeration of everyone's idea of what's cool, funny, artistic, spiritual, whatever - all in one place, in an atmosphere of free expression. It's beautiful and challenging and fun and scary all at once. I really like it.
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From:helianthas
Date:January 30th, 2014 03:35 pm (UTC)
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Great photo!!
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From:tatjna
Date:January 30th, 2014 07:43 pm (UTC)
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Thanks! ;-) It's Dr Wheel in that suit.
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From:fuvenusrs
Date:February 1st, 2014 09:34 am (UTC)
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AMAZE.
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From:tatjna
Date:February 2nd, 2014 07:27 pm (UTC)
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He is an awesome monster. Who knew?
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From:fuvenusrs
Date:February 1st, 2014 09:44 am (UTC)
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I'm quite pleased that I have no Halfling to deal with. Christmas before last I was 80kg because I got to Dunedin and ate my boredom. I'm now down to 70 and the clothes I've still got from before I left fit...just.

You're a wee tiny thing. Like, actually. The thing is, you're a wee tiny thing that's surrounded by even tinier things. You don't have wobbly bits, and you don't look at lycra like it's Satan* when suggested for an outfit because you've got a gorgeous, strong body that you've made your own with scarification and tattoos and brands and you've wrangled your outside to match your astonishing insides. I think if there's any "whoof!" sounds from people picking you up, it's a whoof of restrained HOLYFUCKBALLSTHISLADY'SAMAZINGHOWDOINOTFANGIRLEVERYWHERE.

*Not the cool sexy Satan that gets played by Liz Hurley. More the Captain Howdy Satan. With projectile vomit.
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From:tatjna
Date:February 2nd, 2014 07:29 pm (UTC)
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I don't know how to reply to this. Thank you.

*blushing*
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From:adam_0oo
Date:February 1st, 2014 10:41 pm (UTC)
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On the plus side, you stand out. All of our circus ladies are tiny things too, so much that when you have some of the taller ones, everybody can really see them.
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From:tatjna
Date:February 2nd, 2014 07:29 pm (UTC)
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This is true, although at the moment I mostly stand out for not being very good at adagio... O.o
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