In which I spray you all with words as a form of apology - Tactical Ninja
Dec. 4th, 2013
09:49 am - In which I spray you all with words as a form of apology
Right, so I feel the need to apologise to those who have replied to my posts from Friday and Monday for being kind of crappy at replying to comments. I could make a bunch of excuses but the fact is I'm embarrassed.
Heh, yeah, so did I. Turns out, not so much.
You see, last count that post had more comments than any post I've made in a while on LJ, and almost all of them are saying "Hey I'm still here and I enjoy reading your posts."
Which was really nice to hear, especially from some folks who I honestly thought were long gone (missprune and lunaticbubbles I'm looking at you and no, I would never cut you!). But since that post came from a place where I was all "Here I am faithfully posting myself daily and nobody gives a shit so why do I do it anymore wah wah wah!" it was a bit humbling to realise that actually, people do give a shit and I was just being a self-pitying wally.
Well, that's not entirely true. The fact remains that the interactions here aren't as prolific or as deep as they used to be, and they are mostly now with what I call 'internet friends' rather than folks I know in meatspace.
However, what that doesn't indicate is that people have stopped reading. That's honestly what I thought, and that's why I'd come to the conclusion that it wasn't worth the effort. I have to be honest. Fuck, I am honest. It's there on my profile. I'm an opinionated attention whore. If I just wanted to express myself I could do that in private - but for me, knowing that people are reading is much of the reason I write. I like that someone's hearing what I have to say.
So finding out that I'd misread the signs and that people were still reading and enjoying what I write has caused me to rethink.
The thing is, the internet has changed. That was also obvious in the comments, lots of people mentioned not feeling like there was anywhere else like LJ.
I remember the forums too. I started my internet use on the Londonskaters forum - a place for people (mostly in London) who liked rollerblading. It was there that I learned what LOL meant, and vowed never to be a LOLer (eating my words oh yeah lol).
And then there was LJ, which was a logical progression that sort of gathered the boards together. But, something was lost in that transition too - the element of commonality that special interest boards offered. It became a mishmash of everyone's thoughts about everything without necessarily having anything in common.
And now, it's changed again. People who are 'good' bloggers tend to have their own domains and blog from there, and people seek them out. Everyone else is on Facebook, as the internet turns to shortform, easy blogging. In my opinion, it provides an avenue for expression for those who want to have a presence on the internet, but don't have the time or the talent for longform blogging.
Twitter and Tumblr take this to the extreme. I struggle with Twitter because while it's good for links, my style of expression requires more words and I find that while Short and Pithy is an interesting form for expression, it also lends itself extremely well to Snarky and Negative. And that puts me off committing myself to it the way I have to LJ, because I often find myself depressed and angry after an afternoon on Twitter, and it's almost impossible to have a meaningful discussion there.
Tumblr is even more extreme. It's set up so it's difficult to interact at all (you can add a facility for comments but it's not a native function), and the only way people can generally respond is to like or reblog what you've put there. So there's this easy, one-click way of sharing but it seems that what it really is, is a few people generating content and a whole lot of people one-clicking a response, so that the same content gets recycled while giving people the satisfaction of feeling as though they are contributing without ever having to generate content of their own.
I have a Tumblr presence because I have a dream that my costumes will get noticed and someone will offer to be my patron so I can travel around making and wearing costumes. It's working. 24 people liked my last post! That's up 7 on the previous one! *cough*
Yes I am being facetious - I am both amused and disturbed by how much of a thrill I get when someone I don't even know likes something I put there - but there's a grain of truth in my use of Tumblr to gain exposure. However, everything I post there links back to here, because tutorials like the ones I make would go nowhere on Tumblr. People there don't seem to be into things that require time and effort to read.
So, here we all are with nowhere else to take our particular style of expression. Dr Wheel agrees that there is nowhere else like LJ, because the manner of expression on the internet has been dragged to what I consider to be the easiest common denominator. He also pointed out that LJ feels a bit broken these days. And it's true. Pretty much everyone's experienced the 'We reset the server just for shits and giggles, please manually refresh to see anything' message the last few days. And it falls over every now and then, and some things don't work how they should.
There've been attempts to create other platforms that are better than LJ (dreamwidth I hear is a thing) but so far there's been nothing that's really taken off. Diaspora turned out to be more or less a Facebook clone. So did G+. What we need is something with the shiny tech of those platforms, but that does the thing that LJ does so well - which is, allow the creation of community based around content generation rather than content recycling.
Until that happens, I guess here is where I am. And, um, as it turns out, so are a bunch of people I didn't think really gave a crap, but actually do. So yes, I am embarrassed. I underestimated you. And as it also turns out, not writing is quite hard to do.
Damn you, habit of 10 years.
These sheep are also embarrassed:
This is because they are naked. Yep. 3 x Perendales, 1 x Coopworth, 1 x Dorper, 4 x Gotlands (told you they'd be Trendy Breed Of The Year) and 1 x Mongrelly-looking Brown-fleeced No Clue. Oddly enough, No Clue was the healthiest. Also, Ms Flystrike from last mainshear is looking healthy this year and has raised a lamb. Yay for successes!