In which I resist licking people because I have some scruples - Tactical Ninja
Jul. 19th, 2013
09:39 am - In which I resist licking people because I have some scruples
You know those innocuous little 'like' buttons that are popping up everywhere on sites? I'm starting to think it's time I took a stand against them by refusing to use them. I mean, I could be all IT'S LAZY! but actually what bugs me about it is that so many bloody sites have it linked to Facebook, which seems to have its claws in so much of the internet these days that I kind of avoid it on principle. I hate monopolies. And if it's not a Facebook one, they make you sign up to the site. Or you can 'comment with Twitter' which means you have to let the site have access to your account. No thanks to all of the above.
Call me a luddite or a curmudgeon or some other archaic word that means 'whinging fucking moaner' but I'm not sure I'm keen on the way that social media sites and actual media sites have coalesced into this amoebic entity that means the hip site is connected to the thigh site* and it doesn't work properly if you don't give both of them all your info. It's probably convenient if you are registered to both, but it also feels like I'm being railroaded into joining the borg. Get off my damn lawn!
This morning, siobhan63 mentioned being sat next to on the bus by a man who had a scent of cloves or some similar spice. I left a comment along the lines of "I would find it difficult to resist licking such a man."
Because, you know, it's true. I love the smell of cloves, and I love the smell of men. In combination? OM NOM NOM NOM. Just saying.
I think it's something to do with being a supertaster. By the way, I think the name supertaster smells just like Special Snowflake, so I try not to use it and mostly just say "I have extra taste buds". But anyway, smell and taste are connected, and I've also got a pretty strong sense of smell. This is awesome, most of the time, and makes up a large part of how I experience the world, especially given how crap my eyes have been for most of my life, and that I'm about half deaf.
What it means is that I can smell people's individual scents reasonably well. And it seems, unlike a lot of people, I don't find human smells offensive. I mean yes, unwashed smells, but not a good healthy head of fresh sweat. I like that smell - on others as well as on myself. I have been known to deliberately stick my nose in Dr Wheel's armpit because I like the way he smells. It smells the most strongly of him, and he smells good. Almost like food, you know? Not in the overtones, but in those (oh god this sounds wanky) deeper notes that you feel more in the back of your nose and tongue - there's that warm, rich scent that is similar to cooking pies or the butter in biscuits. He has this scent in spades and I could sniff it all day.
Yes, I am well aware that if I actually tried to sniff it all day, he would think I was weird. He probably already does, come to think of it, but I am going to assume that he likes weird because he hasn't yet run away screaming, even when I've sniffed his armpits.
Also, there are some people who smell wrong. I remember being able to smell when one of my colleagues had cancer, which was.. I didn't know it was cancer until later, but I could tell she smelled wrong. And one of my exes also smelled ... just.. off - not in an offensive way as in "go have a shower oh god damnit", but just wrong, wrong in a way that doesn't wash off, wrong enough so that if things were getting up close and personal, it put me off getting any more up close and personal. But how do you say to someone "I'm sorry, you just smell wrong."?
Anyway, so yes I probably can smell your personal smell if I'm within a couple of feet of you. If I've ever had my nose anywhere near your armpit I can probably detect your personal smell from a group of other people. And it's not anything to worry about, because I like the smell of people. I will try to avoid sticking my nose in your armpit in public, mmk?
But if you start smelling of cloves as well, all bets are off.
I can't be the only one who's like this, surely? But again, it's one of those things that society has deemed unmentionable. We are all supposed to smell like soap and perfume, but I prefer the smell of people, and while clean is good, scentless is just weird. And Lynx should probably be banned for the sake of my olfactory cells and those of anyone who shares a bus with the wearer, mmk? Armpits - they smell better than Lynx! (don't book me for your ad campaign)
So there was a 5.6ish earthquake in Wellington this morning. It was a biggie, a longie and a rollie. It was the first time I've actually got under my desk for one, but the rollyness of it saved there from being any real damage. Of course Twitter went nuts for 10 minutes. Award for best tweet goes to Happy with:
"I walk in the office door and everyone jumps under their desks. Did I forget to put pants on this morning?"
Because in Wellington, we take earthquakes really seriously. Yup.
*Yes I know that amoebas don't have bones. I reserve the right to butcher metaphors indiscriminately because it's Friday.