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I do not need any more new obsessions. Dear brain, take heed. Or… - Tactical Ninja

Jun. 25th, 2013

09:53 am

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I do not need any more new obsessions.

Dear brain, take heed.

Or else?


Seems that cryptic LJ posts are for other people. I posted that up there and immediately started thinking "Yeah but isn't that just trying to manipulate people into wondering what's up, and worrying your friends needlessly? Also, isn't it kind of cheating?"

And I'm all like "Thanks, Oh Cosmic Voice Of Inner Beration, for keeping me on the straight and narrow. No really, thanks."

I'm just.. a bit concerned, I guess. Because a few weeks ago I wrote about how I seem to be getting a gradual encroachment of migraine symptoms that I fear will eventually turn into full-blown migraines like I used to get as a teenager, and how I suspect it's related to perimenopause, and how I have no desire to go through that again.

The other thing I had badly during puberty was OCD. Like, badly enough so my inner life was pretty much centred around trying to alleviate anxiety. The obsession part wasn't so bad - I was obsessed with a variety of things and they were all endlessly fascinating to me and less so to my nearest and dearest - but the compulsion part was frustratingly illogical and anxiety-inducing and the thing that made my folks send me to a psychologist because they knew something was up but I wasn't talking. I deflected continually because nobody but nobody was going to dissect what was going on in my head and it was stupid anyway and I didn't want anyone to think I was stupid so I never admitted what was going on, and eventually my hormones settled down and I got a handle on it by myself.

Yeah nah, don't want to go back there either.

Except that it seems potentially likely, and that bothers me a bit. I'm ok with the current level of obsession, I think, but I fear it getting worse, and I fear that this is inevitable because hormones.


So that was what that was all about. Nothing to see here, move along.

Comments:

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From:ferrouswheel
Date:June 24th, 2013 10:05 pm (UTC)
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Collecting horses would unfortunately not be a viable obsession for apartment living.

(Though neither would collecting old houses and giant machinery)
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From:tatjna
Date:June 24th, 2013 10:06 pm (UTC)
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But we could put them behind a hill! And go fishing!

(everything would be fine)
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From:tatjna
Date:June 24th, 2013 10:46 pm (UTC)

Re: Your brain should take one of these

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Dunno about that second one. Has it been reviewed by KnobFeel?
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From:siobhan63
Date:June 24th, 2013 11:01 pm (UTC)
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I know everyone's experiences with this sort of thing are different, but I used to get really horrendous migraines during puberty - would last at least 24 hours and wouldn't really go away until I'd been physically ill, etc. As I got older, while I would still get migraines, they'd be a lot less frequent and more importantly, a lot less intense (last maybe a few hours and never made me throw up). As I approach menopause (I'm 50), I still get them - sort of. Can't even really call them migraines anymore. All I get is the aural warning (I alway have flashing lights and weird patterns in my vision field for about 20 minutes before the headache starts) - I don't really get any kind of headache anymore. Maybe a bit of tenderness in my head - like how it feels AFTER you've had a really bad headache, but nothing more severe than that.
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From:tatjna
Date:June 24th, 2013 11:04 pm (UTC)
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The reason I'm concerned is that I haven't had a migraine since I was 17 - and yeah, mine were pretty bad back then. I've had zero symptoms at all, right up until about 4 years ago, when I started getting the visual warnings again, which never led to a migraine. But each time I get them they are coming closer to a migraine, and last time I got some pain and nausea.

The way they started and stopped during puberty suggests it was hormonal, and, well.. I might be being a bit of a worrywort, but it's a concern.
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From:russiandolls
Date:June 25th, 2013 03:00 am (UTC)
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Have you considered talking to a GP about it? A friend of mine recently had a few years of frequent migraines, and took triptan medications (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triptans) to nip them in the bud. Not that it sounds like you're in need of them right now, but I guess I'm just trying to say there are options now that I suspect you wouldn't have had back then. :-)
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From:helianthas
Date:June 25th, 2013 05:20 am (UTC)
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Well, how do you feel about going on the pill, ring, patch or the Mirena IUD (has very low dose of a progestin) to keep your hormone levels from fluctuating for a few more years?
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From:tatjna
Date:June 25th, 2013 10:02 pm (UTC)
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My body doesn't respond well to hormonal interference. I stopped taking the pill when I was 25 and had an IUD inserted.
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From:pombagira
Date:June 25th, 2013 01:58 am (UTC)
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hmm i too am wondering about the migraine bit, and have had a few visual migraine, with the no pain but tender head and can no longer eat chocolate

so.. maybe there is a counter to the OCD aspect of the hormones changing, *ponders this* food, vitamin, drugs... *ponders drugs*

also



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From:caycos
Date:June 25th, 2013 04:31 am (UTC)
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Read this today and thought of you, and then read your post and thought you might like to read it: http://coleytangerina.tumblr.com/post/53800741602/this-is-probably-the-scariest-thing-i-will-ever-blog
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From:tatjna
Date:June 25th, 2013 10:02 pm (UTC)
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Thanks for that! ;-)
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From:goddessofchaos
Date:June 25th, 2013 11:30 am (UTC)
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It would be easy to say "don't worry about something that might not happen", but as the Queen of Overthinking, I would be being rather hypocritical! I think it's good that you're aware of the potential issues and can keep an eye on them. I had severe migraines when I was younger and I still get them occasionally, linked to my hormonal cycle, but they're not nearly as bad as they were. And there are better migraine medications available now than there were back then, so your doctor may be able to help you out, if they do come back.
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