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An exploration of the correct form for tomboyish acrobatics - Tactical Ninja

Jan. 17th, 2013

10:22 am - An exploration of the correct form for tomboyish acrobatics

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Dr Wheel is reading a book at the moment. He says it's about information, and eventually it'll get to maths - but right now it's somewhere in the 16th Century and when he snorted with laughter at it, I asked what was up. Apparently it was the original definition of 'tomboy:

"A girl or wench who jumps up and down like a boy".

Of course you know where this is going. I had to know..


I tried various forms of jumping up and down and asked Dr Wheel to judge how boyish he felt they looked. He seemed confused (and amused). Of course, I've no idea if I'm a 'girl or wench' either, but one can but try. Then alphamatrix showed up and she thought that maybe it meant jumping up and down with straight legs. So, as we are more and more wont to do in matters of such importance, I consulted google.


Holycheese agrees with alphamatrix.


I'm not convinced. After all, that's just a cartoon boy. I note that 16th Century Definition Dude didn't specify 'like a cartoon boy', nooooo...


The stock photo people agree with me.


Uh-oh, an impasse. By the way, have you seen this? Stocking is the new Planking, in which people recreate stock photos using items (and people) found around the house. *cough* I would never! Nope.

Anyway, it seems these grown-up boys also agree with me:


Bonus points here for recognising the skifield.


These people have no opinion on how boys jump up and down, but they'd like their boy to stop doing it, thanks. The comments are gold, in which the internets try to diagnose the kid's 'problem' and suggest everything from a gluten allergy to autism. Points for best comment go to "If it is something neurological going on the fats in the Primal diet do help quite a bit." Yes, we have us some paleofolk up in here. Or maybe "He didn't recently get a vaccination did he?" Because vaccinations are a widely known cause for everything, especially boys jumping up and down.

They even made a movie about it! Plot synopsis: "The story of 10 old college friends who re-unite in a time of need. The existential bond they forged in college was to be a constant reminder of all the joys that life could offer. But one friend, Kevin, forgets all knowledge of their union and drops into a deep depression. The only thing that can save him is love, craziness and a flying chicken." Unfortunately, it doesn't give details of how the jumping up and down is done, in fact it's not clear how the jumping up and down fits into the story at all, but from the cast list I estimate that at least two (maybe three) of the 'old college friends' are women (girls/wenches?). If I were to watch this movie, it may reveal all, including whether the wenches' jumping is actually like boys at all. The 5 people who've watched it gave it 8/10 stars. Do you think I should watch it? Do I need more redemption-through-love tropes in my life? You decide.

However, according to whoever made this video, jumping up and down involves keeping your legs straight.



It also involves shouting out that you believe in Jesus. The Hillsong Kids? Hmm.. it's catchy and happy but my jumping up and down is unlikely to include professions of religious fervour. Of course I do believe in Jesus - I have no doubt he existed. I believe he had a huge influence on society both then and later, what with his radical ideas and his charismatic leadership. But "I believe in Jesus" has come to mean belief that he's the son of a deity that I don't subscribe to, that he died for our sins and was resurrected then got lifted up to a heaven I also don't subscribe to, and that he's up there loving on us, caring individually about what we do, and making judgements about our deservingness based on our level of faith. Not for me thanks.

But I like the song, and it definitely demonstrates a lot of jumping up and down, only 5 seconds and three stick figures of which includes bent-legged jumping, which implies that the correct form for jumping up and down is with straight legs. BUT - it's really hard to tell if the jumpers are boys or wenches. Clearly this videomaker suffers from the same gender description issues as Charles Stross, who would probably say that tomboys don't exist because wenches aren't strong enough to jump up and down at all, never mind like boys. *cough*

So much for the internet. I am no clearer now than I was before on how I should jump up and down if I want to be a tomboy. Or indeed whether I even qualify as a wench. I guess this one is just going to remain one of life's great mysteries, along with where all the other socks go and how pelicans can even fly. Although, I find myself wondering if Dr Wheel's wondrous book will have a 16th Century answer to that too. Hmm..


Tonight I'm finally going to get to do those lambs and that show grooming job. There's a possibility that I may end up having to wash a sheep's arse. Naturally there will be photos.

Meanwhile, my head is 57cm around, which makes it medium sized. I am putting this here for future reference. Also, I had a question for you all but I can't remember now what it was, so how about you just imagine that I asked you a question and give me your answer as if I did? That could work.

Comments:

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From:nick_101
Date:January 16th, 2013 09:41 pm (UTC)
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I have a medium-sized head as well.

That's a lot of jumping.
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From:tatjna
Date:January 16th, 2013 09:55 pm (UTC)
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A lot of jumping with no real resolution. I am disappoint!
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From:anna_en_route
Date:January 16th, 2013 09:51 pm (UTC)
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Er...about tonight, unless you're able to do your lambs under shelter, you might have to postpone again....
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From:tatjna
Date:January 16th, 2013 09:55 pm (UTC)
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I am being the eternal optimist here. It hasn't rained yet, and it might not.

Weather forecast, what weather forecast?

The stupid thing is that I've been trying to do today's two clients together, because they both live in the same area. However, we're now down to the wire in that the show grooming client has her show on Saturday so her one has to be done today regardless of the weather, and I can do that because it's not going to require electricity or take long enough to give me boils, and won't produce any wet wool to be stored. The others have to wait for dry weather.

So one way or another I'll be doing stuff to sheep tonight, but it sure looks like it'll end up being two trips after all. Bugger.
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From:anna_en_route
Date:January 17th, 2013 02:24 am (UTC)
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*fingers crossed that it dies down in time*
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From:tatjna
Date:January 17th, 2013 02:26 am (UTC)
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At this point I'm just hoping to avoid being sconed by giant hailstones tbh.
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From:tatjna
Date:January 16th, 2013 10:18 pm (UTC)
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Should Happy spend the entirety of Rainbow Serpent completely nude?

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From:tatjna
Date:January 16th, 2013 10:31 pm (UTC)
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I am a member of Camp Fuck Yeah.

What was the question again?
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From:tatjna
Date:January 16th, 2013 11:18 pm (UTC)
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You will be held to that you know.
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From:Will Marshall
Date:January 17th, 2013 12:53 am (UTC)
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We can schedule a week of conformance to the primal diet. It'll help with the English.
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From:tatjna
Date:January 17th, 2013 02:07 am (UTC)
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PS It's Cardrona.
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From:bekitty
Date:January 17th, 2013 12:04 am (UTC)
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I'd always thought that the definition of "wench" was related to how many mugs of beer you could hold in your cleavage. Or using your breasts as a shelf. Or something. I dunno.

And I'm pretty sure that Camp Fuck Yeah is just the new name for the less responsible members of Skullfuck. Or so I was able to gather from previous Kiwiburns.
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From:sorceress
Date:January 17th, 2013 02:38 am (UTC)
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My thoughts exactly on "believing in Jesus". I don't doubt that a lot of it happened, he was probably even nailed to a cross (ouch, man) and I believe he died for our sins. Or he intended to. According to some people, just believing that Jesus died for our sins gets you a spot in heaven, but I'm not sure if that's a widespread belief.

The internet can teach you many things, but only after searching through piles of crap, porn and carefully interpreting some crackpot opinions :P
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From:tatjna
Date:January 17th, 2013 02:41 am (UTC)
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Yet it apparently can't teach me how to jump up and down if I want to be a tomboy! Damn you, internet!
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From:richaarde
Date:January 17th, 2013 03:35 am (UTC)
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So physical fitness makes you boyish. Interesting.
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From:jaelle_n_gilla
Date:January 17th, 2013 09:00 am (UTC)
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*lol* You do put a lot of effort into academic questions, yes? Thank you for sharing. It sure brightened my day!

I think I have another explanation for the original question though (in case you hadn't figured that one out yet):

"A girl or wench who jumps up and down like a boy"

Girls were simply not meant to jump up and down in any manner. "A Lady Will Not Jump. A Lady Will Not Run. And A Lady Will Not Be Seen Eating Out On The Street." Believe it or not, those were values my grandmother still tried to install in me when I was little. I don't have to mention how much of it stuck, do I? ;-)
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From:tatjna
Date:January 17th, 2013 09:15 pm (UTC)
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Note to self: Never try to be a Lady. I can't imagine you took much notice either..

Also, you should see me when I get my teeth into a *real* academic question. I am that scary student. ;-)
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From:jaelle_n_gilla
Date:January 18th, 2013 01:06 pm (UTC)
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Latest at the point where she said "No eating on the street" and I was looking at my chocolate icecream cone I decided my priorities lie not with Ladyship *g*

I love your thorough approaches to those questions. They always make my day.
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From:c_maxx
Date:January 18th, 2013 06:46 pm (UTC)
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I think you have it. Jumping up and down "at all" puts one in a whole 'nother category, like boys...

In which case, look out for the Sprouts, either one can jump and put Dad over in a twinkle. "Dad, get off the floor..."

But then their Mom identifies as having been a tomboy.
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From:c_maxx
Date:January 18th, 2013 06:46 pm (UTC)
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Great icon!
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From:slavezombie
Date:January 17th, 2013 06:00 pm (UTC)
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I honestly don't think that the name of the band is a vague reference to Gateways Mental Hospital, and even if it was, that I fancy to entertain a crush on a lead vocalist who also plays bass will never develop into anything more. Even if she is the girl next door.
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From:vernacularity
Date:January 17th, 2013 09:08 pm (UTC)
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I think that there is incorrect parsing going on, and the focus is too much on the "similarity" aspect of "like": you are reading it as "jumps up and down in the same manner as a boy jumps up and down" and focussing too hard on trying to define the boy's style of jumping vs a girl's style of jumping. I suggest that it should be reinterpreted as "like" meaning "as does", in other words, "a girl who jumps up and down, as do boys" ie "at all".

"Jumps up and down" could be considered a shorthand catch-phrase of the time which is/was understood as meaning "is rowdy".

That's my take on it, and I'm a boy.

That's just how I jump. They see me jumpin', they humpin'.
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From:fushia_darkness
Date:January 18th, 2013 07:01 pm (UTC)
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Oh dear... I always know I'll learn some new quirky facts when reading your entries :)
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From:pundigrion
Date:January 26th, 2013 01:48 am (UTC)
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Jumping up and down like a boy involves some hilarious floppage. At least when they do it naked. Jumping up and down as a girl often involves hanging on to even more floppage with at least one arm.
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